This Thing of Ours
FBI on Organized Crime
La Cosa Nostra
La Cosa Nostra is the foremost organized criminal threat to American society. Literally translated into English it means “this thing of ours.” It is a nationwide alliance of criminals—linked by blood ties or through conspiracy—dedicated to pursuing crime and protecting its members.
Why does the Korean War Baby use this term “This Thing of Ours-Adoption”? Now some have claimed that ALL adoption is bad, that it separates children from their mothers. In some cases indeed mother's gave up their child due to pressure from Family, religious groups, society, lack of government support. It is also true that because the woman was not married she would find it difficult to raise her child. In a few cases the child was literally 'thrown into garbage or toilets'. There is a huge number of reasons that mother and child are separated.
"This Thing of Ours" had great implications because of its meaning represents the Bonds and Close ties that link together all those involved. In the Mafia to say "this is a Friend of MINE" simply meant he was someone who did business with the Family of the "Made Man". A Made Man was a member of the local Family, not just a friend of mine. For another Made Man to be introduced it was said "This is a Friend of OURS" showing he was accepted and sworn to allegiance to "This Thing of OURS".
"This Thing of Ours-Adoption" also goes beyond just blood-ties, it is transcended by love for those who are not related by blood, the Adoptive Parents and Family. Some have used the term "Adoption Triad" to show the interrelationship of 1- Adoptee 2 Birth Mother/Father/Family then 3 Adoptive Parents/Family.
This Thing of Ours-Adoption, includes more than the typical Adoption Triad-Adoptee, Birth Mother/Family, Adoptive Parents/Family. For it includes the governments of Sending and Receiving countries, social welfare ministries/workers, Adoption Agencies, Aid Agencies, United Nations groups, Law Enforcement, Judicial systems, etc.It includes the society of both Sending and Receiving countries. The THING is huge, when you look at extended family members even. The KWB feels related to all his numerous cousins-by-adoption, yet longs to meet (if they want to) his Birth Family members.
Like “La Cosa Nostra”, This Thing of Ours-Adoption is very complex, undergoing changes over the years, hopefully to eliminate the wrongs done by some who would profit from child-laundering, kidnapping, etc. But these are NOT all the cases, in fact there is NO ALL at all.
Spectrum of difference within
There is a spectrum of colors that represent so many aspects and different cases. White Light is full of all the colors and a Prism bends or refracts the white light into its various elements. In Adoption there are also many different experiences, from the great to horrible, the good, the bad, ugly, and beautiful. Do mestic and Inter-Country adoptions, secret, open, closed, within families only, transracial, the list of variations are enormous and well, different yet similar. Commonality overlaps in many cases. The tragedies of life affect even "normal" families with divorce, death, illnesses, attachment disorders, incest, etc.
The KWB sees though, in the majority of cases Adoption is an answer, not the best but the next best for a child who is, for one reason or another given up, abandoned, thrown away, without relatives who WANT it, and simply needs a loving home.
Adoption faces issues that Psychologists, Behavior Analysts, Psychiatrists, Social Worker, etc have learned from many years of study. PAP (Prospective Adoptive Parents) are given much more information on helping their adoptive child to adapt, understand and discuss their adoption questions, when and how to deal with it...Resources are much better and the internet gives blogs, websites, book lists, whatever is needed can be found.
In some 10% of adoption cases in the U.K. result in "failed adoptions" and there are other examples. But what of the other 90%? Are they perfect, of course not. Life is not perfect nor are parents. A good friend of the KWB once remarked that his newborn child did not come with a "manual".
Abandonment Issues
Each child does suffer within from the abandonment and separation from its natural birth mother. But to blame adoption for all these seems to be too much.
Abortion, institutional life, foster home, slavery conditions in their home country…what adoption DOES do it give a chance for a home. Whether it is done in secret or closed conditions (as in Korea) or with ethnically related parents, the fact is that thousands of trans-racial adoptions have been “Successful”.
Surveys only touch on a tiny section, even the Evan Donaldson Adoption Institute (AdoptionInstitute) has surveys of only 500 adoptees. There are some recent finding by them that give recommendations to improve on the process. But some surveys have taken only 11 USA adoptees and extrapolated results to apply to many thousands! What is that? How can 11 represent so many, impossible even for the KWB’s low math skills to comprehend.
The reasons for “giving up for adoption” are numerous, circumstances and pressures come into play. Any one reason cannot apply to the “ALL”, each part of the Spectrum has different facts, stories, etc. that does NOT apply to others in “This Thing of Ours-Adoption”. In seeking Balance though ALL stories must be examined and weighed, in context with the Whole, the White Light of "This Thing of Ours-Adoption".
It is written in the Bible, Koran, Hebrew scriptures, and other holy books of major religions, "Seek and you will Find". We should/can/must seek the whole truth from all the "colors contained within". The KWB does NOT know all the facts, please send him your information, links, opinions. A consensus can be found. (Again, the KWB sure likes the Spell Check/Word suggestions/Dictionary/Google Search, etc Tools that help us all find Knowledge- and he would be helpless without them. He even has an online bible program to search for verses...)
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