Abandoned Princess-Bari Gong Ju
Last year when I wrote this for my student, I had found the fascinating tale of “The Abandoned Princess-Bari GongJu” and it resonated with my own spirit and soul. Here in Korean Folklore was the story of a seventh daughter who was thrown away literally, Bari da 바리다 literally means "to throw away/abandon".
The Story is link is found on the first part of this series on "Abandoned Princess-Bari Gong Ju". She was found and adopted by non-blood related but ethnically same people.
It continues to be my hope and prayer that all adoptees find some help in their quest for Self-Identity and understanding of their own “Story”. Each of us are similar, yet uniquely different. We can learn from each other and grow in healing, in This Thing of Ours-Adoption.
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“Epic of The Seventh Daughter”
Part 5
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Attacks continued from her half-brothers,
Their greed grew larger and stronger.
Elders, they were leaders in their church,
They took complete control of the company, wanted even more.
Only her father’s careful planning provided for them.
One day, the doctors asked for a transfusion,
They needed more blood for a surgery.
But when Lucky was tested there was confusion.
“The types were wrong, they don’t match.
Were you adopted?”
Some people are thoughtless, speaking their mind,
She had overheard words in the past, that caused some pain.
“Doesn’t look like either of her parents at all”,
“Could be she was not… you know, natural”
These words cut like a knife but she just ignored them.
Lucky knew her parents were loving and kind.
Her mother protected her from idol gossip.
Her father’s children had different opinions,
The daughters considered Lucky like family.
But the sons resented Lucky and their stepmother.
Day by day her father grew weaker,
Still he could only remember his wife,
Silently, Lucky suffered but never did her love falter,
Her filial duties were fulfilled as the ‘only child’,
But great was her pain and despair at life.
Then one day a call, from a stranger,
Burst upon her, like a thunderstorm.
An unfamiliar voice asking probing questions,
Making a bold and reckless claim.
Like a bolt of lightning it shattered her world.
The woman said, “I think you are my sister,
I’ve searched for you so long.”
“You must be mistaken, how can it be?”
But Lucky knew deep in her heart,
It just might be true.
Questions on blood types, and birthmarks
Seemed to confirm the strange story.
Shock turned to surprise as she heard
She was the seventh daughter.
Her siblings includes two younger brothers.
“I need some time….to think this through”,
Lucky was filled with a multitude of feelings.
She took down the name and phone number,
Promised to call, then sought out her mother,
“Mother….we need to talk.”
Mother and daughter talked through the night,
Lucky found out how she was ‘chosen’.
Chosen from many, the parents both agreed,
On the special girl with such a cute smile.
They made their choice, taken her as their own child.
“We never told you, because of your father’s children.
Your father wanted them never to know.”
“I am not your ‘real’ mother” she said hesitantly,
“But I loved you like my own flesh and blood.”
“No, you will always be my Real mother” cried Lucky.
Though they were not of flesh and blood,
They were bonded by love, tempered in strife.
Mother and Daughter, their love stood the test.
Then one cold winter day, the man she knew as Father,
Slipped away…Unimaginable sorrow and grief.
After the ordeal of the wake and funeral,
Lucky stayed home with her mother.
Trying to sort out all the thoughts and emotions.
Intense disbelief, “Must be a mistake,
A mix-up of identities, similar name maybe?”
Confusion and despair flooded Lucky’s mind,
“I don’t know who I am any more!
Nothing makes sense. Who am I?”
Anger arises, “I was living a Lie,
Who else knew? Did the half-brothers always know?”
Bitterness and hostile thoughts towards God.
“God, how can you let this happen!
My older brothers, acting like saints,
Tried to destroy us, they caused the man
I knew as Father to have a stroke!”
Sorrow at her Loss as Lucky realizes,
All her relationships are changed.
The knowledge affects how she sees people.
Never the same, as in the past.
Because she is Not who she thought she was…
Lucky goes to a Buddhist temple.
She must find the answers.
Seeking some meaning, what is her life about?
Day by day, night by night,
Thoughts spin in cycles, finally slowing down.
Over and over again, she remembers the surprise,
Then Shock at the growing revelation, a bombshell.
Trying to avoid the inevitable,
She tried to deny it could be even be true.
Only her “Adoptive” mother’s confession convinced her.
Then Anger flared, Frustrations burst,
An outpouring of bottled up emotions.
Overwhelming hate, blinding rage!
“Why…How…What happened? Who did this to me,
Where are they, who ruined my life!”
In vain Lucky sought a way out,
She bargained with her mind.
Then finally her thoughts settled, slowly,
In the solace and peace of the mountains,
Lucky made peace with her soul.
Feelings of betrayal begin to fade,
Some things in the past, made sense now.
Spoken words, overheard, understood finally.
“Who AM I…still the same person.
I will survive, somehow, I must go on.”
Down from the mountains, back to life’s struggle.
Lucky had come to acceptance.
The cycle of Grief, roller-coaster ride,
Became bearable and sanity returned.
She must test real solutions, find a way forward.
Lucky assured her “real” mother,
Let her know that their Love would never diminish.
Her plan was to call the sixth birth sister.
With her mother’s blessing, Lucky made the call.
The birth sister had been eagerly waiting.
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YouTube VideoKorean Shaman-Mudang (most are women, some men)
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