Abandoned Princess-Bari Gong Ju
Part 4
The Korean War Baby presents parts 4 of a domestic adoptee’s story of abandonment and late discovery of her adoption. She was adopted secretly as 90% of Korean domestic adoptees are done. It is still embarrassing and even shameful to admit that a couple cannot have a natural child. In the 1950’s it was actually a law that only children in “relative adoptions” within the extended family could adopted.
Overseas Adopted Koreans (OAK) have a counter showing 87,479 (1939-2007) official domestic adoptions, however there are an estimated Double that number of Private Civil adoptions.
These are not in government records, dating from the post WW2 days of USFK just after the Liberation of Korea from the Japanese Empire’s surrender. The Dutch diplomat’s relinquishment of their nine year old Korean daughter shocked many here, here, Time Magazine. It was a private civil adoption, and these unfortunately continue to this day. If Korea signs the Hague Conventions these will stop.
Here is the fictional story, based on real life.
“Epic of The Seventh Daughter”
-Part 4-
Days turned to weeks, a couple of months.
Then the little one was hustled again,
Again she was going away.
For a new Mom and Dad awaited,
Longing for the gift from heaven.
Placed in a loving home, she knew another father.
He adopted her, ‘Took her by his own Choice’.
Ad Optare means in Latin-‘to Take/Add by Choice’.
“I receive you, my daughter,
I now call you my own.”
He was getting on in years,
His new bride was young and strong.
Though they loved each other,
They couldn’t produce a child from their union.
They desired their own family.
The father had been widowed several years before,
Left with 2 sons and some daughters.
He then had met a younger woman,
Who had lost her own father.
Taken to the North, during the cruel Korean war.
Though separated by many years,
Their love had grown from friendship to deep love.
They married, against family and social taboos.
Secretly they made inquiries to a Joong Mae Jaengi,
With a matchmaker who arraigned marriage and such.
The Joong Mae promised to ask around,
“A son do you seek?” she asked.
“Sons are very rare, girls are very common.”
“It matters not, a girl is fine, yes that would do.
But can we keep it discreet?”
The crafty woman came forth with a plan,
She had much experience with these matters.
To keep the adoption a secret,
A few things could be done.
When a child was found, the plan would unfold.
The wife would pretend to be expecting.
She could travel away to her parent’s hometown.
After announcing the pregnancy,
The wife would wear a ‘special pillow’.
The hospital staff would gladly take a bribe.
One day soon thereafter,
News reached the ears of the matchmaker.
A poor, frail girl had been found,
A Cloud of despair over it’s life,
She was wounded in spirit and soul.
The agent did not tell them one small thing,
That she was a Seventh daughter,
Despised and forsaken, A Curse to many.
Thrown Away by her own flesh and blood,
She would be taken in love, by those who were not.
When the tiny girl child arrived,
She was crying out loudly, given away, again.
The new father and mother rejoiced,
“She has broken our bad fortune,
I shall call her Lucky!”
And so little by little the fragile girl grew,
Becoming strong in body and mind,
Finally, finding peace and comfort.
She was an only child, or so she thought.
Never thought it strange, she looked kind’a different.
Lucky blossomed into a young woman,
Then Fate struck a mortal blow.
Her father was under such stress,
His sons had brought much duress.
The family business became a battleground.
The sons strutted around in their pride,
Sitting in their ‘reserved special’ Pews,
Elders of standing in their church.
But in secret they grew in greed,
Scheming to grab as much as they could.
The Sons had never liked their stepmother.
Younger even than they,
Never could accept her or the ‘stepsister’.
They plotted to control most of the business.
Fighting to cut off all their support.
Suddenly, without warning, a stroke hit the Father,
Causing such harm in his mind,
His recent memories were unrecalled.
He remembered his wife but not his daughter.
Lucky had lost a father, again.
His illness continued for three long years.
Mother and daughter struggled together,
Bonded together in life’s cruel dealings.
Lucky stayed by his side,
Lovingly she cared for him, but he knew her not.
****************
Written by the Korean War Baby.
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