SHADES of GRAYS |
White to Black in a way represent extreme ends, could be the radical sides of This Thing of Ours-Adoption. "Pro-Adoption extremist may extol and praise the "forever" family, "lucky, fortunate, blessed, to have a loving family 'taken by choice' (meaning of Adopt)- this is an EXTREME view of a few in this camp.
"Anti-Adoption Adoptee's Association” extremists defend the rights of the child and natural/birth mother/father to have Family Preservation. They lament losing their language, culture, social identity. Which one is White or Black? You might demand, BUT from each END-from each polarized side it is THE "OTHERS" THAT ARE BLACK!! WE are the Good, correct, righteous guys! It depends on which side you are in your perspective, then the "Others" are Extreme.
The two “camps” are labeled Pro-Adoption and Anti-Adoption by some. Many have in horror asked the Korean War Baby, “Why are you compromising on the issues, brother? Stand firm in your convictions, are you For us or Against US” This is a colorful but true concern from a dear friend. BUT the Korean War Baby IS somewhere in between, on case to case basis. IT IS NOT JUST US AND THEM...the vast majority are somewhere in the middle shades of GREY.
US versus THEM??
So the Korean War Baby will NOT put his label on either, as EACH SIDE has their OWN PERSPECTIVE. It is the SHADES of GRAY in between that represent SIMILAR YET SULTLE DIFFERENCES that concern us here. Let us think that this spectrum shows the Labels "Happy to have been Adopted" OR "Angry and Sad to have been Adopted". (These are extremes Points of View- BLACK and WHITE remember).
Perhaps the huge Majority are in the middle shades of Gray, yes, no? For certain
.
“Wassup wid Dat? Yo, is you Wack’d or Wat?
Forgetta ‘bout it!!”
The FULL SPECTRUM of personal stories fit somewhere on this scale. Each of us can find the best "Shade of Grey" that represents their life, and as WE grew up, (The WE is also SUB-Group Labels such as Mixed-Blood/Multi-Ethnic, Special Needs, etc). Throughout my life at various times I would have placed myself at various places as I developed more understooding of my Ethnic roots and understanding of my own Identity, WHO I AM.During our adolescent years many of us find that we ‘really are not white’ like our friends. During High School and especially during our College or University, work, or military service, our ethnic identity was challenged and questioned. Most of us did not become murderous like a few, nor did we end our lives tragically…some DID sadly and the rates of crime and suicide are almost the same as- adults who came from BROKEN homes from divorce, grew up with only mothers never knowing their fathers.
As I have said before, Adoption is NOT THE BEST SOLUTION but it is much better than others like Abortion, Institutional Care, even Foster Care.
The Evan B. Donaldson's Adoption Institute's "Beyond Culture Camp" Here report of Nov. 2009, suggested (remember less than 170 KADs took the survey) that as a child grows up their Adoption Identity shifts and changes. Most of us (again not all) were TransRacially adopted by Caucasian families, according to the myth "rich white folks". I have found this NOT to be true, and challenge this myth. Hell, my white adoptive parents were NOT RICH.
BUT many of us did grow up in families that were mixed, a U.N. fusion style that “some surveys” show that Multi-Cultural communities HELP adoptees of “Color” to adapt to their ever developing multi-cultural societies that still have some prejudices, Oh My! It does SEEM that our European KAD’s may have suffered more than USA, then there are many examples of US KAD’s saying “I was the only non-caucasian in the small town I grew up in. I was the ‘United Nations’ to them.”
Somehow despite all these “enormous pressures” MOST of the KADs have survived! Though some have returned to visit Korea, (figures ‘counting’ the number of Kads coming would have counted ME, uh each time I came back from vacation, ten times.) and see the roots of their beginnings. Some continue and search for their birth families, but Some are NOT in that place.
Each must do what they want to do, even brother and sister may have different places. It is an Individual's choice "to search or NOT" and only less than 2,500 HAVE found and reunited with natural/birth families. Again with varying degrees and reactions from one extreme to another.
This Spectrum could also be likened to a PRISM that splits the white light into the rainbow of visual light. So too is the Plethora of stories.The facts are that FEW facts have been gathered by Adoption professionals only surveys with limited numbers of participants. The figures for International adoption vary in tens of thousands.
One thing CAN BE SAID, "There is no ALL" but groups and subgroups that sometimes have similarities and unique differences.
For example, Koreans BORN IN THE USA, may have two Korean parents but their level of language skill, understanding of Korean daily life, detailed knowledge of Cultural and historical events are similar to a KAD from Mich. or Minn. who has "Gone beyond just Culture Camp" and done intensive study about their motherland.
When they come to Korea to teach English with fantasies of warm acceptance from their “motherland”. Then, they are Culture Shocked by everyday differences in walking, pushing, personal space, inquiring probing personal questions. Most are then dismayed to find themselves on the 3rd tier of Teachers desirability list.
"Wanted Caucasian Teachers, No Kyopos please (and that also means KAD too)".
Just ask Holt Survivor Girl #4708 or anyone else who TRIES to GO NATIVE. Lots of Luck. The Glass Ceiling is SET by the expectations and demands of Korean AhJuMa Moms who demand "White Teachers with impressive degrees" even if they have heavy accents.
(Nothing wrong with accents, I have always told my students-but this is the "Native Speaker must be a White person" syndrome.
Those teachers of Color and like the KWB, mixed-blood are on the 2nd tier. Full blooded Koreans, though Native Speakers are on the next 3rd tier. An inconvenient and frustrating fact. TIK-This IS Korea. SIGH :(
(Nothing wrong with accents, I have always told my students-but this is the "Native Speaker must be a White person" syndrome.Those teachers of Color and like the KWB, mixed-blood are on the 2nd tier. Full blooded Koreans, though Native Speakers are on the next 3rd tier. An inconvenient and frustrating fact. TIK-This IS Korea. SIGH :(
Andy Warhol once famously said that, "In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes." With those words, he was not only coining a phrase but making a statement that exemplified his view of art and the world. His transformational style of creating art of the everyday, in many ways, made him the face of the Pop art movement and led to the creation of some of the most iconic images in modern American art. With YouTube some are getting their 15 minutes.
In his own “15 minutes of Fame” moment, the Korean War Baby will attempt to explain in the next few days HIS GRAND SCHEME and (hint) the PERFECT SOLUTION to all that is held dear and holy, fair and benevolent to Almost Everyone in This Thing of Ours-Adoption!!! (if the Lord permits me…and my foolish passion does not overtake sound advice from my doctor to eat, sleep, take my diabetes meds or DIE.
Oh, a few comments were made on Public Forums about THAT, and I have the ‘Print Screen’ records sent by
friends. But God has forbidden me to use them. It is not HIS way, but my own revengeful hurt spirit DOES wants to destroy the very thing he supported, true NEUTRALITY of GOA’L which is NO MORE.
friends. But God has forbidden me to use them. It is not HIS way, but my own revengeful hurt spirit DOES wants to destroy the very thing he supported, true NEUTRALITY of GOA’L which is NO MORE."Smack down" from the Father. Got to put off the old ways. God chastens His child."
It is so difficult to like, (oh…okay!) LOVE others, when one feels betrayed and I am not so wise, if only I had learned from SO many mistakes in my life, I would falsely claim to have gained incredible wisdom…but I still repeat my errors and lose my temper, break things and well, “you’re just human” doesn’t excuse it. I have been firmly reminded, “YOU can BE replaced”...“For you were once darkness but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of Light.”
“Too late, too late have I loved THEE...” lamented St. Augustine, in his work “Confessions”. Yes, too late for me to get a degree, too late to be a father, too late to do so much. Failure upon failure. Oh, that my miserable life could help just a few of my Dong Saengs, my fellow Korean Adoptees and the Secretly adopted Dong Saengs in Korea.
This is my only hope, this is what I WILL DO until my time on earth here is finished. Everyday belongs to my Maker, the Giver of Life. I must make my witness not for personal reasons but for those EACH YEAR that get a family, MOST done in unfortunate SECRECY, others sent abroad. Also, I hear in my mind and in nightmares, the cries of the "unexpected" Unwanted Pregnancies, terminated because of inconvenience, and those deemed ‘‘Undesirable or damaged” children who are less than perfect. The more one knows the heavier becomes the burden. I am consumed by incredible HORROR of the facts, I cannot hold it in but must shout from the "rooftop" of cyberspace. This is why I am "passionate".
Lamentations 2:11 “My eyes fail with tears; my inward parts ferment; my liver is poured on the ground for the ruin of the daughters of my people, in that the children and the babies faint in the streets of the city.”
“Tell us, YOU who would STOP ALL ADOPTION IN KOREA, where do the children play? In crowded orphanges until their they are cast out on their own?
Or given a loving home in Open, not in Secret adoption in Korean families. Or in Foreign lands where they will grow up in multi-cultural families?
Next. The Korean War Baby presents
“THE PERFECT SOLUTION’
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