My name is Don Gordon BELL and I am one of the earliest of the first generation of KAD's (Korean ADoptees). The Korean War had been settled by Armistice three years before I left war-torn Seoul, Korea, on May 21, 1956. It was the first plane of twelve 'war babies' processed thru the Harry Holt Adoption Program. Read more of MY STORY on My Pages. I grew up in a typical middle-class family of English-Scottish roots in greater Los Angeles, Ca, USA. Memories faded, Korean language was 'lost' and I did not know anything about the country of my birth until I met Korean Marines in Vietnam while serving with the US Marines. It was my first exposure to real Korean people. I was not completely aware of how prejudiced most Koreans thought towards a Half-Breed like me. I learned what "Tuigi" meant, a Korean word for a "Child of a Foreign devil". Oh, wonderful.
All my life I always had to answer the question: "What ARE you?" and I simply would tell 'my story'. It was not a big deal for me, for my Adoptive Parents had taught me that being an American meant that WE were from many countries. I never 'wished to be White' and just learned to stand up for my own identity. MY Identity was as an American, with mixed heritage. I did not know what being "Korean" meant but often wondered about my roots, and what my birth father's ethnicity. Mexican, Native Americans, and Spanish people would tell me that I had their 'genes' for sure. Little did I know they were right!
After college, I traveled to Manila and for ten years I lived in the Philippines. I was excepted as a 'mestizo' and fit into the former Spanish colony. I was a B-movie Character Actor, working on international and local films, enjoying a 'crazy and wild' abandonment. Then a life changing experience gave me faith in a personal Higher Being. After walking away from the film business, I lived back in the USA, not sure of my direction in life finding work in construction, finish carpentry, door hanging, and many other jobs I'd like to forget.
In 1991, at 38, I attended a Holt Heritage Camp that was a great experience and really began my own journey of Adoption Identity search. I had never thought much of my Korean culture, though I always felt proud of being "HALF-Korean" and "half-Something". In 1994 I came back to Seoul, Korea, with my church Vineyard Christian Fellowship, and was invited to stay with a church in East Seoul, for one year. I have lived here since late 1995- re-discovering my "Korean-ness", teaching English and telling my Adoption Story to thousands of Korean students of all ages, helping their understanding of Korean Adoptees. It is one of the issues that Korea is now facing, even for its own secretly adopted children, those who were adopted IN-Country by Koreans who desired a family but due to problems with Infertility secretly adopt.
I was a charter member in 1997 (first dozen members) of GOA'L (Global Overseas Adoptees' Link, founded by Ami Nafzger) and continue to be involved with the complex issues of This Thing of Ours-Adoption. Thousands of KADs have visited Korea over the years, searching for their culture and Some search for birth family. Seventy-five thousand have come, yet only 2,400 plus have found Reunion with Birth family, often with varying results. There are many complexities, many don't want to search concerned about offending their Adoptive Families. Each KAD must decide what they want to do, when to do it, etc.
At 67, I am still 'working thru' my Adoption Identity. Each of YOU need to 'work through' your own understanding and hopefully find forgiveness and healing. Read many different accounts and compare before coming to conclusions. I hope that you will learn what IS happening NOW, in the land of your birth, the Rep. of Korea (South Korea). (See Report Links).
Times are changing, the reasons for 'relinquishment/given up for adoption' have shifted, but there continues to be a need for a multi-tiered approach and understanding of Adoption issues. Slowly, attitudes of Korean society ARE changing for the better. But, the majority continue to feel embarrassment and shame. Thus, Adoption is still shrouded in secrecy even for those who are adopted In-country . There ARE positive signs and movements of NGO's and KAD groups are advocating for the Unwed Mothers. However, two-thirds of pregnant women each year, continue to give up their babies for adoption. One out of four are sent overseas, YET three are secretly adopted in-country. The Myth that "Koreans don't adopt" is false, but they need to open up and hopefully change their shame to pride.
This blog is for EVERYONE, whether you are an Adoptee, Adoptive Family, Birth Family or involved in Adoption in ANY way as a professional, social worker, official, etc, from Korea or the world. We examine the complex issues and personal journeys that we, domestic and overseas adoptees, have to face and sort out in This Thing of Ours-Adoption. (Use the Search function to check for Posts on various topics, TransRacial, Tran-Cultural, Multi-Cultural families, Domestic, Civil Code Law Adoptions, InterCountry Adoption, etc.)
I personally have come to a compromised, nuanced position on this thing of ours-adoption. I advocate a Multi-tiered Plan that tries to be balanced, realistic, fair to all.
UPDATE: Living in the Philippines since 2010, at first teaching students from several countries as an Online Tutor, based in Makati, Metro Manila. I was working on a Digital Library for Online Tutoring or ELearning; developing an agritourism farm; and Overseas Retirement Care for foreigners needing 24/7 health care.
Then some 18 months ago, in July of 2012 I met with Andrew Leavold, a crazy film obsessed Aussie who helped "pull me back into film making".
WHEW! Lot on my plate. I have also been learning much about the Filipino society's very different viewpoints on unwed motherhood and adoption.
As of Sept. 2012, I worked on an Indie Film, "Baybayin, the Palawan Script", directed by Auraeus Solito, and international award winning Filipino director. I had a role in the film and explored my hobby as a STILLS Photographer. Currently I have quit all teaching, co-writing on an international film that will be done in 3D and CGI effects. I am back in the film-making business and I love it. I have continued to act in Independent and international films and in many projects worked as Stills/Bts Photographer. I cover film festivals, events, and continue to try to improve my Game. Semi-retired but love to keep active, now exploring mirrorless 4K cameras but still a Canon Guy.
Adoption Discourse needs to hear YOUR VOICES. Every opinion, even opposing viewpoints will be posted and interaction invited by email and Comments have been activated again with spam filters!). Welcome, come learn, and share your thoughts. Join social media sites and you will help yourself and others as you share your life.
#20 Holt Adoptee/First Dozen on Flight departing Seoul on 21 May, 1956 to USA.
Seoul premiere of Tammy Chu's documentary RESILIENCE!
WHEN: Wednesday, March 3 at 8:20pm.
(runtime: 75min)
WHERE: Theatre Hypertheque NADA (Seoul) - located on first floor of Dongsoong Art center in Hyehwa, Seoul Tix: 7,000 reservations available starting March 1 through Interpark Internet Ticketing or by phone: 02-766-3390
Directions: (Subway) Take exit 1 at Hyehwa Station, subway line 4. Turn right on road between Bangsik Flower Shop and Naksan Garden.
(Bus) Take bus 101, 102, 106, 107, 109, 151, 161, or 273 to Dongseong High School. Walking towards Hyehwa Station, turn left on road between Bangsik Flower Shop and Naksan Garden.
RESILIENCE has been selected by the Asian Cinema Fund (ACF) to be presented in "AND Showcase 2010", a special showcase for independent films and documentaries in Korea.
Every Wednesday night throughout February and March, a different film selected by ACF will be shown at Hypertheque NADA in the Dong Soong Art Center in Hyehwa, Seoul.
“What? I am a ‘Founding Member’?” I was at the 10th Anniversary of GOA’L and speaking with Founder Ami Nafzger and her husband Aaron who had come back for the Conference held in 2008. Ami told me that I certainly was one of the first dozen to join, after Nolin Stratton had introduced me to the fledgling group meeting in coffee shops. This was pre-IMF and there were no Starbucks, Coffee Bean, etc. back then. It was cool to meet European adoptees like French-Korean Mihee and others from several different countries and states in the USA.
I had not been to a GOA’L meeting for a year or more, because I now lived out of Seoul. After I got married to a ‘Real Korean’ in 2005, I moved to Ansan City 90 minutes southwest of Seoul. I continued with all my Private Tutoring jobs in Seoul and faced the back and forth, boring travel each day. I re-read old pocket books, subscribed to two daily newspapers, bought many paperback books.
Staying out late, which is a requirement for Social events with GOA’L members were almost impossible, having to leave by 10:30 or I would be stranded half-way when the subway stopped. Adoptees friends left and more came to visit, some to stay and work. I even missed a couple of conferences as trips to the United States conflicted with the schedule.
I remained an active member though and dropped by the new offices, met some of the new faces of Korean volunteers and Adoptee on the staff. Things were in good hands I saw, under SG DaeWon Wenger and the GOA’L staff such as Nicole, Hoya, Kyung Hee, and so many others I cannot name. There were always amazing and dedicated to their work, getting minimum pay for many hours of work.
Then in March of 2008 I met a Korean student who listened to standard explanation of who I am. I gave her ‘My Story’ about my Adoptee Identity. I was unprepared for her own Story as a Late Discovery Adoptee, she was a Domestic Korean adoptee who like 97% are NOT told that they were adopted. This is totally wrong, and I began to research about her story and found the legend of Princess Bari, the Abandoned Princess. Bari da actually means "to throw away" so it is called in English "The Abandoned Princess", so fitting for us in a way. Next post will be my motivation for running for the position of Secretary General.
Today the KWB attended the Korean Women's Development Institute's Policy Forum, concerning the issues of Unwed Mothers. Dr. Boas and his wife were in attendance, (not sure but perhaps with their Korean daughter by adoption). Of course some of the members of Korean Unwed Mothers Support Network (KUMSN) were also there with their children.
More on the substance of the Forum on next post. It is late in the morning now, but during the forum, as he was looking around at the audience he was struck with how FEW MEN were attending. Less than 10 in the audience and only one Male panel member. The number of Korean women were possibly 85-100 including a dozen Adoptees. Some Mothers with small infants in backpacks walking around, a couple of older children, very well behaved by the way.
Suddenly a fact came to him, "Fifty percent of Korean women of childbearing age have had at least ONE or More Abortions". Now stats can be misleading but the KWB has read this from different sources and personally met dozen of Korean women who admitted that they had even been advised by Pastors and Priests to have abortions. Could be "Every other One" in this room..."WOW, Fifty percent, what deep pain, a collective agony of so many wounded in their hearts and minds."
Then another Stat hit him, possibly "350,000 to 400,000" mothers Plus an equal number of fathers who for the most part ran the other direction, have given up their babies and children for adoption. That's a big city, a city without joy...
On the subway heading home to Ansan City, a 90 minute ride, another Inconvenient Truth popped into his mind, the Daily number of Abortions according to the government is 1,000 but the Korean Foster Care Association figures 3,000 and Pro-Life Doctors say 4,000 based on medications they know are issued. "What are the Real numbers?" He was thinking.
"A Vision of Barrels of Terror"
We were crossing the Han River, when the KWB saw in his 'minds eye' many "55 Galleon" Drums, each one FULL of different stages of Unwanted and Unexpected pregnancies that had been terminated/Aborted. The lid was being put on one filled to the brim with flesh and blood. The number of drums seemed to fill a soccer field, then the number "1,000" was heard, called out by an unseen voice. Then "2,000" was heard...it doubled the drums now stacked two high. Now, "3,000" tripled the stacks, until finally "4,000" was called out. Each time the stacks of drums reached another level.
Then the drums were being loaded into trucks, delivered to different locations. Some to Korean scientists to "Harvest" the blood, broken, torn bodies, some for Beauty products, others to labs for Stem Cell Research. It was a just a daily delivery and it all flashed through my mind in moments, but in agonizing slow motion."
"What was that?!" The whole thing happened before crossing the river to Tonjak Station leaving him speechless and numb, fighting to hold back emotions that threatened to ruin his tough guy image. "It was like a movie, a horror movie."
The Korean War Baby presents THIS STORY as another reason for Korean people to reconsider the Abortion option. Yet, if this young girl was born alive and discovered to be “GASP…damaged with ear problems” well, only a Few Brave Koreans, REAL KOREANS, would even consider adopting her. She would have been one of the 97% of Special Needs children sent to Overseas families willing to take them. YES, only 3% of the yearly SN children are adopted by local Korean families because, well, it would be embarrassing for them. We have a LONG way to go yet... Holt International – Blog » The Gift of a Miracle HOW DARE SOME OF YOU, claim some NONSENSE that ALL InterCountry Adoptions should STOP. What is your answer for the Special Needs children? Will you stop them from finding a family? What of the Half-breeds like the Korean War Baby? Should we all have been “terminated with extreme prejudice?” What say you to that? EH? I am certain that MOST of you would NOT think that, except for somelamebrain idiots (if the shoe fits…), most of you are educated and MUST be aware of the circumstances of the Societies of “Sending countries”, such as Korea and Haiti…Some reports have it that adults in Haiti have escaped to the USA and left their children as SINGLE orphans, abandoned and Unwanted by their family/society. “ Some of the children lost their parents in previous disasters, including four tropical storms or hurricanes that killed about 800 people in 2008, deadly storms in 2005 and 2004, and massive floods almost every other year since 2000. Others were abandoned amid the Caribbean nation's long-running political strife, which has led thousands to seek asylum in the U.S. - without their children - or by parents who were simply too poor to care for them.” Seatle Times Article There are no simple answers but ABSOLUTE and ALL INCLUSIVE statements are foolishness. This is just one of the comments that a few posted on a social network, against others with no consideration or thought. The case was certainly a very extreme case of a woman who has given many of her children away for adoption. Certainly she needs some counsel but the hate of some few against both the “surrogate woman” and the families who adopted is par for the course with a few extremists:
“i wrote to the adopter. i think they're both ASSHATS. Any woman who gave a child up for adoption who doesn't walk around with a massive guilt load has no heart or soul.” 1st poster
“…these women are BOTH heartless. they are BOTH child abusers and they BOTH deserve to be locked the phuck up. i HATE evil, greedy, baby hungry mother phuckers like this.” 2nd poster This conversation went on and on, such hate and preconceived judgment against ALL women who give up and people who are willing to “Take by Choice” an unwanted child. The KWB tried to be civil in his response…WHERE ARE THEIR MINDS? NOT everyone feels this way, there are extremes on “almost every camp”. Can’t we all get along? BUT what a story of a miracle, you may not believe it but the ways of God are difficult to fathom. The KWB has seen some of these things with his own eyes, yet also seen the Perfect Healing-death and on to the eternal life beyond this world. May he be found worthy on the day of his own passing. May you also know ‘peace that passes understanding’ in whatever faith you believe in.
The British UN chief rightly has criticised aid agencies working in Haiti for poor coordination and resourcing, which he said weakened confidence in their ability to deliver, according to a leaked email.
John Holmes called on the agencies in the memo to take a more "aggressive approach" to help Haiti following the earthquake on January 12 and said there were "major unmet humanitarian needs".
However, he later claimed that staff at the UN, nongovernmental organisations and the Red Cross and Red Crescent were working in Haiti "in incredibly difficult conditions and actually doing a very good job."
"We need a shelter surge and a sanitation surge to go along with the food surge that happened over the last couple of weeks.
"Rubble removal is a massive challenge and then we have to get on to early recovery and education and agriculture, cash-for-work and all those kind of areas."
Mr Holmes, who heads the UN office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs said the email made a technical point about "the kind of trust and leadership support that's needed rather than saying we're failing in some way."
The Korean War Baby answers this post by Bastard Nation:
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
BASTARD NATION STATEMENT ON HAITIAN ADOPTIONS AND "BABYLIFTS"
Please distribute freely
For the last week, Bastard Nation, like the rest of the world, has been watching the devastation of Haiti. The images are frightening, sad, and heartrending, especially those of the children.
We have also watched with alarm the rush to rescue Haitian children by adoption. Within three days of the earthquake, Catholic Charities of Miami had set up a scheme modeled on Operation Pedro Pan, a joint State Department-CIA-Miami Diocese project in the early 1960s to separate children from their parents, creating young pawns in the US war against the Castro government. Although “Operation Pierre Pan” in Haiti is on hold, at least for now, numerous evangelical churches and ministries, adoption agencies, secular organizations, unfinalized adoptive parents and other individuals--many with conflicts of interest--have joined the rescue mission call to remove children immediately, no matter what their family status, to the US for the purpose of adoption.
Haiti is still under rubble. Aid is slow to arrive. Survivors are spread out in shelters and camps, or live in the streets. The dead are unnumbered, unknown, and unnamed. Family members continue to search for each for other, and it will take weeks or even months for final conciliation.
The rush to relocate orphans, quasi-orphans, and potential orphans internationally is ripe for coercion and fraud. Adoption agencies, church agencies, and ministries especially--along with fraudulent and predatory “child welfare” agents--have much to gain from fast removal. The trafficking of Haitian children for sex, servitude, and adoption operated in Haiti before the quake. It certainly operates now. The unethical and possibly unlawful mass transfer of traumatized children, many with family status unknown, to foreign shelters, foster care, and adoption agencies, removed from their culture and language, with little hope of family reunification cannot be allowed or tolerated. We urge US State Department and other US authorities in Haiti to (1) remove private special interests and those with conflicts of interest, such as adoption agencies and ministries, from the child welfare decision-making process and (2) halt the evacuation of children and their placement for adoption in the US.
We also urge the State Department to suspend pending adoptions. Haitian paperwork is lost or destroyed. Rock Cadet, the judge most responsible and knowledgeable about pipeline cases, died in the quake. Though the US Embassy survived, US paperwork is probably unavailable for some time, if it still exists. Without proof of Haitian court or Embassy status, any adoption removal from the country, without thorough background investigation and due process, is illegal and not in the best interest of the child
Needless to say, no new adoptions should be processed.
In the post-quake chaos, children need protection from predatory snatchers. Bastard Nation, therefore, supports the expedited removal of Haitian children, orphans or otherwise, to credible and documented parents or family members in the US for temporary or permanent placement depending on the circumstances. These children must not be assumed adoptable and scooped up for fast-track adoption. They should be a top priority. We urge the State Department or other government or credible private and disinterested agencies to assist Haitians in the US to locate child kin and bring them to the US.
We understand why people want to open their arms and hearts to the children of the Haitian earthquake, but adoption is not emergency or humanitarian aid or a solution to Haiti’s ongoing problems. The immediate rescue effort in Haiti should focus on emergency services, individual and family care and family reunification, not family, community, and cultural destruction and the strip-mining of children.
This statement has been faxed to the US State Department.
The Korean War Baby concurs that the situation in Haiti must follow the international Hague Conventions, though I do wonder has the Haitian government signed it? Don't think so, but the US State Dept. HAS frozen all NEW adoptions. US State Dept./faq_adoption_haiti
The "gang that couldn't shoot straight from Idaho" misled by a woman who is unaccredited, untrained, unprepared, NOT a missionary...they are a great opportunity and provide a "Teaching point" to educate the BEST way to proceed on helping Haitian people. A hierarchy of options DO exist, yet perhaps a Commission should be set up by the Haitian government on these issues (we must remember quite a few are dead so it will take awhile).
Evan B. Donaldson's Policy Paper suggests a 2 year time period to sort things out based on the 2004 Tsunami.
That being said:
Question, IF paper work exists of a PENDING adoption under process, with copies certainly in possession of the US Adoption Agencies and families...THEN WHY should they NOT be pushed through? That makes no sense at all. Both Haitian and others (even UNICEF) seem to think these cases should go forward.
Before the earthquake, it was reported by Kent Page of UNICEF that 380,000 Haitian children were SINGLE orphans and about 50,000 were DOUBLE orphans. You DO know what that means? Orphanos in the original Latin language and יםתו yâthôm Hebrew language both have these meanings- "Fatherless" as well as "parentless". The UNICEF and Hague Convention uses the term for children with ONE parent living, or BOTH parents dead.
The numbers of children have absolutely increased YET precautions must be done in order that Family Preservation does take place; then ethnic Haitians in other lands adopting relative, then non-relatives; perhaps then "rich white liberal/democrat folks" who have already adopted TransRacial children so they will have siblings of different color...Lastly, would be those "horrible unscrupulous people who want to force Christian values of Love and colorblindness on unfortunate children who are unwanted by their blood relatives or actually Given up by them".
There is the Hierarchy that the Korean War Baby thinks should be done.
Don Gordon BELL
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Quite frankly folks the KWB commented already on the US State Department's statements on this matter. Jan/KWB
It is huge crisis that needs to be addressed by USA, United Nations groups such as UNICEF, and all the NGO's helping over there. There has been talk of setting up a Commission but we must remember that almost every Haitian government building along with hundreds of employees were KILLED.
Those who want to adopt must be patient and let things get settled, give support to the accredited orphanages already in place with a history and proven track record. Let everything be done in proper manner, but the KWB sees NO reason to stop adoptions that were in process to be expedited after proof is shown.
Hosted by Korean Women's Development Institute Sponsored by Korean Unwed Mothers Support Network (KUMSN)
The Korean War Baby will be attending this TOMORROW, WED. Feb 24, Get there at 1:30 pm to register. Located at the Press Center in Seoul, just east of the City Hall. See Map below
Dear friends, You are cordially invited to a forum on unwed mothers sponsored by Korean Unwed Mothers Support Network and KWDI Feb. 24 in Seoul. The invitation is attached.
The Korean War Baby presents update on MuFilms World Premiere at the San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival!! Pass this on:
Dear Friends,
We are proud to announce that IN THE MATTER OF CHA JUNG HEE
will have its world premiere as a Special Presentation at the San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival. Please join us!
Friday, March 12, 6:45pm, Landmark Clay Theatre, San Francisco
Saturday, March 13, 3:00pm, Pacific Film Archive, Berkeley
Sunday, March 21, 6:45pm, Camera 12 Cinemas, San Jose For Tickets and Screening Details: ABOUT THE FILM
Her passport said she was Cha Jung Hee. She knew she was not. So began a 40-year deception for a Korean adoptee who came to the US in 1966. Told to keep her true identity a secret from her new American family, this eight-year-old girl quickly forgot she was ever anyone else. But why had her identity been switched? And who was the real Cha Jung Hee?
IN THE MATTER OF CHA JUNG HEE is the search to find the answers. It follows filmmaker Deann Borshay Liem as she returns to her native Korea to find her “double,” the mysterious girl whose place she took in America. Traversing the landscapes of memory, amnesia and identity, while also uncovering layers of deception in her adoption, this moving and provocative film probes the ethics of international adoptions and reveals the cost of living a lie. Part mystery, part personal odyssey, it raises fundamental questions about who we are…and who we could be but for the hands of fate.
IN THE MATTER OF CHA JUNG HEE is a co-production of Mu Films and the Independent Television Service (ITVS), in association with Center for Asian American Media (CAAM), Katahdin Productions, and American Documentary/P.O.V., with major funding provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting (CPB).
Think you got it bad? Need some encouragement? Someone once wrote “I grumbled that I had no shoes, then I met a man with no feet.” Watch THIS story of an amazing person who has no arms or legs: Slide FunSpace on Facebook The Korean War Baby is speechless and in AWE about Nick’s triumph in life. His parents and family surely went through great difficulties and his website must be seen. On Korean programs there are often stories like Nick’s of families who DO take care of Special Needs children.
When you see a Downs child in Korea with their family you KNOW that many many more were “terminated” because in 97% of Koreans minds ‘less than perfect’ is not good enough. How many “Nicks” have been butchered among the millions aborted in Korea…in the USA…in every country of the world? The KWB took matters into his own after “fathering” two children to 2 different women. He had a vasectomy at 28 years old, certainly an extreme measure which he regretted years later when he and his wife tried to have children through IVF. The operation was done because of the guilt that he felt, bringing two children into this world that would not know their biological father. He continues to search for his son who was born in France by his Vietnamese mother. Watch for the whole story in “The Korean War Baby”, a book in progress.
Hey out there, Yes…You who are Adopted from Korea. Please take 15 minutes out of your busy schedule and DO THIS SURVEY. It is SO necessary for understanding THIS THING OF OURS-ADOPTION, that as many take these surveys to get a more accurate picture. Even the Evan B. Donaldson’s Adoption Institute Survey had less than 200 Korean Adoptees nation-wide.
And DUDES, wassup with yah all? Got time to Facebook, play computer games, but MALE ADOPTEES are woefully lacking in taking part in surveys. Only 25% take part, We NEED your input. Get off your butts and take the survey. Ladies, get on Facebook, My Space, Twitter, etc. and encourage the Male Korean Adoptees to DO something.
I recently received an email from my friend Saebom, who is a Korean adoptee doing a research study on the experiences of Korean adoptees. This is such an under-studied topic, and I think it's so important that Korea adoptees are starting this research. Please help out if you can, and feel free to pass this information along!
We need your help if you are a Korean adoptee who is: * Currently 20 years or older
* Went to Korea at age 20 or older
* Went to Korea and RETURNED to pre-Korea life Please respond to our independent research study! There are only 49 questions, and it should take 20-30 minutes. Email us for the password at 2curiouskads@gmail.com,
and then proceed to this link: KwikSurvey BY Special Permission- Password is imakad
Be sure to enable cookies before you start so you can go back later on if you need to. Some of these questions might seem personal, but the more open and honest you can be the more helpful your responses will be for other adoptees. Please know that your responses are generated anonymously.
"Here’s some info on us. We are Korean adoptees, 32 and 35 years old, who've been Korea 2-3 times. After we returned from Korea last year we felt isolated. Displaced. Confused. Unable to ease back into our pre-Korea lives. We wondered if other adoptees felt the same way. More importantly, if they didn't, what had they done to prevent these feelings from manifesting? What sort of foundations, behaviors, life circumstances did they have in place that enabled them to feel rooted and connected when they returned? And how could this information offer support to other adoptees? This is where you come in. If we get enough responses we will develop the results into a presentation for the IKAA Gathering in Seoul this summer so that your responses will help others just like you. Much appreciation, Rae Anne and Saebom
The KWB took the Survey and IT DID NOT TAKE BUT 30 MIN.
Really folks, please pass this link along and take TIME OUT. You may find the questions helpful in sorting out YOUR FEELINGS, eh! Thank you Rae Anne and Saebom for putting this together. The Korean War Baby salutes you both!!!
Read the entire article to see how the KWB exposes the “heartless child-napping of these Haitian sisters, stolen from their culture/family/people into a horrible life as playthings for Infertile Rich White Adopters, just Shocking!”
OH, they were not kidnapped, not Laundered, NOT stolen…The Moores have other children? Hmmm, NOT Infertile, they must be RICH, Hey maybe they will force Christian values on them.
GET A GRIP, PEOPLE!! When all the procedures are followed adoption is a great thing. Go ahead, prove it wrong…
14 children from Holt Fontana Village in Haiti travel to the United States to be united with their permanent families
Happiness and tears washed over the faces of the caretakers and staff at Holt Fontana Village in Haiti on Tuesday, February 2nd, as they all gathered around to say goodbye to 14 children departing to Miami to unite with their permanent families.
“There were lots of tears,” said Holt Vice President of Adoption Services, Lisa Vertulfo, who accompanied the first group of children to Miami. “The caretakers sang a hymn and then the staff broke into “How Great Thou Art” in Creole.”
The children, already matched with adoptive families prior to the devastating earthquake in January, had their adoptions expedited. Seven more children from the Village will hopefully
“You came.” Those were Nephtalie’s first words to her big sister, Martine.
Martine had come home to us from *Haiti in April 2008. When her sister, Nephtalie, needed a permanent family, we were already two years into the process of adopting Martine and because of this, the two sisters would not be able to come home together. When we left Haiti with Martine, we promised Nephtalie we would return for her.
The two sisters were reunited on February 3rd. Nephtalie told Martine how much she had missed her and how long she had waited. Later that day another child from Holt Fontana Village also told Martine how Nephtalie had been waiting for her.
The separation of siblings is one of the tragedies of children without parents to care for them. Martine and Nephtalie are together now, but the two-year wait was obviously heart wrenching for a 6-year-old to remember a promise given two years before. We felt frustration here, while she was longing over there…too young to understand why she had to wait.
I am thankful for the wonderful care my girls received at Holt Fontana Village. I know many other children, now home, who were living in far less than ideal conditions before they arrived at Holt Fontana Village. However, even good food, shelter, and competent, loving caretakers do not make up for a family. We had at least one year to go before Nephtalie would have come home.
God, in his mercy, used this horrific event, which took so many lives, to bring these sisters back together and many other children to their forever families.”
*Holt’s Haiti program is currently closed to new adoption applications, but we invite you to research some of Holt’s other country programs where thousands of children are waiting to belong to a permanent family.
"Military tactics are like unto water; Water shapes its course according to the nature of the ground over which it flows; the soldier works out his victory in relation to the foe whom he is facing. Therefore, just as water retains no constant shape, so in warfare there are no constant conditions. He who can modify his tactics in relation to his opponent and thereby succeed in winning, may be called a heaven-born captain."
Sun Tzu wrote one of the classics on warfare, and his principals are studied by military leaders to this day. Warfare is constantly changing conditions and the commander who is able to modify, and adapt quickly will win the battle. The commander must take all the information of the enemy and his own forces and find the BALANCE then change or TIP the balance in his favor.
In Martial Arts training Balance is a central part of training no matter what style or system one learns.
The Four Stages of Effective Martial Arts TrainingFrom this site
In the martial arts one should learn the concepts of Center of gravity, Balance, Shifting balance to defend or strike,
No movement. In stillness, you discover the precise location of your center of gravity. You learn to position your limbs and torso such that balance is maintained with minimal effort. The ability to remain upright is a vital skill, both figuratively and literally.
Solo Movement-Graceful movement requires stability and balance. Without these qualities, you must constantly engage your muscles (and your mind) just to keep from falling down. Solo movement training teaches you the exact amount of effort required to move your body from one position to another. To master solo movement is to end the fight between your mind, body, and the force of gravity.
Movement with a partner. This non-competitive training builds sensitivity to your partner’s position and intention. Without training in this stage, you will often find yourself reacting to what your partner did in the past, or to what they might do in the future, rather than what they are doing in the present.
Combat takes place in the present moment, and nowhere else. Attempting to prevent the past or predict the future is an exercise in futility. Effective self-defense requires calm awareness. Balance has far more layers to it when understood from a kinesthetic perspective.
You are probably wondering "what does the KWB mean Now? What has this got to do with balance in This Thing of Ours-Adoption?" The ability to be "in the present moment" is very important, both in fighting arts, conducting war, and in any changing environment. The issues in adoption are changing, have changed over the years, i.e. reasons for giving up/relinquishing or Policy, Laws, Hague Conventions, and many more are in flux. The entire so called 'industry of adoption' is evolving and to understand it all one must do many things. Balance can come only to those who are constantly AWARE of these changes, adjusting, learning, moving our OWN POSITION as new facts are learned.
If we only focus on US not on THEM, we cannot have balance. Happy Adoptees vs. Angry Adoptees, Adopters vs. Birth/Natural Moms, the divisions are clear and strong many times. The more the KWB studied and learned, the MORE he realized how COMPLEX and DIVERSE, each group feel and believe. He found his Center of Gravity and thus his position shifted slightly, yet he became more aware that many DO NOT listen to the other's views, they have cut off understanding.
They have a Blind Spot, some of them, like Blinders for a horse drawing a buggy to keep it from worrying about distractions. Blinders are put up in front of the horses’ eyes so that they can focus on what lies ahead of them. So that they don’t get scared or distracted by things happening in their periphery vision. This helps horses but we need to we need to Take off OUR BLINDERS and reevaluate the PRESENT Situation. Some people only see their point of view and refuse to see the other sides. They don't even read the books and articles of "THEM" and therefore have a Blind Side or Blinders on, preventing them from hearing the heart and soul of THEM. And Them don't know about US, it is a vicious circle.
A fellow blogger told him recently, "I hate politics, Can't we All just get along?" Only when we open our eyes of our hearts and understanding to the OTHERS can that come to be. Let's open our eyes, stop thinking of "Them" as the enemy. It begins with YOU, then You, and so on, change our heart and mind, take of the blinders,
New Tricks in Blogger!! Look under the Banner, Blogger has new Pages (up to 10) that open into a special page format thingy. Awesome, been trying to learn how to DO that for a long time. Latest PAGE is on Dr. Joe Soll's excellent book.
This is THE book for Adoptees but Joe even has another book just for Birth/Natural mothers. Go check out the PAGE above and see the Table of Contents and the Welcome chapter. We all need to understand ourselves...someone said, "Know thyself" or whatever. Adoption professionals, Adoptive Parents, government officials, everyone involved in This Thing of Ours-Adoption, NEED to know what is inside this book.
Ezekiel 16:4-6 Eze 16:4 And as for your birth, in the day you were born your navel was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you. And you were not salted, nor swaddled at all. Eze 16:5No eye pitied you, to do any of these to you, to have compassion on you. But you were thrown out into the open field, because your life was despised in the day that you were born. Eze 16:6 And when I passed by you and saw you squirming in your blood, I said to you in your blood, Live! Yes, I said to you in your blood, Live!
This baby LIVES and may be living in a RICH WHITE PRIVELEGED HOME near you. GEE, the KWB wonders if the Mother’s Rights were abused when her baby was lost to adoption…(Of course Some/many mothers did get pressured, some even 'forced' by the facts of life to relinquish/give up their babies...Not talking about these, folks. THIS IS ABANDONMENT.)
The Korean War Baby does NOT judge the Haitian woman who left her baby in a latrine, crying out for life, struggling to breath. Even for a country as poor as Haiti this was shocking for them, but notice that people stood around looking on without helping, just curious for the longest time. Finally some begin to try cleaning the shit from it’s tiny body. What circumstances could bring a human being to do this? We can never understand unless we were in her place, because we do not know what she herself has gone through. Perhaps she is mentally ill, had a total breakdown, under drugs, driven by circumstances we will never know. We cannot condemn her or even blame her without knowing WHY.
This is an EXTREME but not isolated incident. It represents only a FEW cases of Abandonment in the worse kind. In South Africa in 2002 there were estimated 3,500 cases of Infanticide and Abandonment by parents. This is why groups of NGO’s and churches have set up “Safe-Haven Baby-Drops” where newborn babies can be left with no questions asked. Many women DO give up their rights as a mother, without SIGNING PAPERS. This just IS what it IS, Life sucks sometimes. Links:
A baby hatch is a place where mothers can bring their babies, usually newborn, and leave them anonymously in a safe place to be found and cared for. This kind of arrangement was common in mediaeval times and in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, when the device was known as a foundling wheel. FoundlingWheel_BabyHatch
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ASafeHavenForNewborns Baby hatches as such are not known in the United States; however, all 50 states have introduced "Safe-haven laws"[10] since Texas began on September 1, 1999. These allow parents to legally give up their newborn child (younger than 72 hours) anonymously to certain places known as "safe havens", such as fire stations and hospitals.
In the first half of this year, 2,348 children were sent to the nation’s 272 welfare facilities, up from 826 in the same period of 1997. But abandoned or orphaned children looking for homes face two hurdles in South Korea—a Confucian society that values strong family ties and sees them as different blood, and a government that actively discourages adoptions by foreigners. That leaves the nation overflowing with children waiting for adoption, often in crowded facilities. The government’s quota does not reflect reality, said Kim Young-bok at the Eastern Child Welfare Society, one of four agencies licensed to handle foreign adoptions. The quota has forced the agency to reject new applicants. The government introduced the quota system two years ago after news media and politicians began calling overseas adoptions a disgrace to then affluent South Korea. From a high of 8,000 a year during the 1980s, only 2,057 Korean children were adopted abroad last year. We are in a dilemma, said Lee Chang-june of the Health and Welfare Ministry. We must get rid of our image as a major exporter of orphans. But people are not adopting children at home. Despite a government campaign to make adoptions more socially acceptable, the number of children adopted by South Korean families has remained at around 1,200 annually for several years.”
CAN YOU SAY, “UNWANTED BY MY MOTHER’S PEOPLE!”
BUT some say rich white priveleged Adoptersapparently STOLE us so they could have/save a cute little Asian kid. OH, the horror. What a bunch of CRAP.
In the years since the ‘98 crisis Korea has recovered and yet every year 10,000 children are ABANDONED into the system. The main reasons to cut the numbers of ICA/Overseas adoptions each year is to
SAVE FACE
The next time some idiot tells you that your adoptive parents ‘stole’ you from your mother, remember this: That’s not the stats. The ungodly truth that we who were LUCKY to be sent OUT of this country must deal with is that Korea is a society that boasts that is it the 11th or 13th in the world, BUT does not take care of its own. Our Western Minds think “how can they NOT take care of their own?” or “Why do Koreans send their children away? You are poor, no more”
HELLO!!! It is NOT about the economy being good. The excuse of poverty does NOT apply. Maybe in the 50’s and until early 1970’s but the REAL reasons go to the BLOOD.
Only its own Blood relatived/Genetically matched relatives are important to the Majority of the Korean people. TIK-This IS Korea.
This is why 97% of Domestic and CIVIL adoption is SECRET. Nothing to do with Having money…People are having only ONE child because it costs so much to raise them.
This is the Language of Blood that OUR mother’s people continue to hold onto godless Neo-Confucian belief that society is still centered around.
Even large numbers of Christians who should NOT think that way, DO. If the KWB had just 60 minutes on Korean Christian television…the sermon he would preach would burn some ears off, ala fiery 19th evangelist and abolitionist preacher, Charles Grandison Finney known for the 2nd Great Awakening Revival.
Maybe if the Christians of Korea got revival they would support natural/birth mothers more in their own families, and society might actually wipe out the need for the 300 institutions and Foster Care, etc. etc.
Until that day, fellow Adoptees and friends, all of you in This Thing of Ours-Adoption let us work together.
Grant Montgomery Family Care Foundation
The KWB found this site with tons of information on North Korea and an NGO, Family Care Foundation, that helps children in 50 countries. George Montgomery has run his blog since September 2005. Go check out his links. These are the groups that need our financial help, not 'well meaning but inexperienced' folks that got caught up in the mess in Haiti. Be sure to know the group you send money to and double check later, there are unscrupulous criminals who take advantage and literally steal the rice/bread from the mouths of babes. Eight of the people have been released, By the Way, they are only volunteers who trusted their leadership. The two women will be vilified but even their motives were pure, but misguided and ignorant, even being fooled by a 'lawyer' who is wanted for the very crime they are alleged to attempt. Waiting for the real facts to come out. We must wait for the truth to come out.
Meanwhile, the police chief of Port-of-Prince laments that over 5,000 prisoners escaped and are back with their criminal gangs. These are some of the real traffickers of children/women/men that must be watched, not some 'fly-by-night' so-called missionaries without credentials.
For those who really do pervert the system and rob the poor, widows and orphans, it is very clear that they will suffer, not necessarily in this life. Their HELL will be much worse than others. May GOD deal with them, for it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of a vengeful God.
"Due
to the recent media reports and actions by a group of doctors, many obstetricians in Korea have stopped performing abortions. A clinic in Suwon, Gyeonggi, said that until this year it had performed 50 to 100 abortions a month, making up to 40 million won ($34,572).
Starting this month, however, it stopped altogether.
The nation is locked in a heated controversy over abortion after an obstetricians’
group, Pro-Life Doctors,
reported three hospitals to prosecutors for allegedly conducting illegal abortions.
Abortion under Korean law is illegal except for in special circumstances including pregnancy by rape and for mothers with a contagious disease or mental or physical
illness. Even so, illegal abortions have long been swept under the rug,
widely performed in hospitals throughout the country.
Women who want abortions say that they have
been left with no choices. “Is the government saying that I should have
a baby, no questions asked, even though I can’t support myself or don’t
want a baby?” said a woman in her 20s at a hospital."
The KWB comments: We reported on this development last year as Joong Ahn Daily and Korea Times led the English daily papers to report on these facts. The government worries about the declining birth rate and seeks to encourage more births, even giving 'incentives' and 'bonus' to families that have a 2nd or 3rd child. The Pro-Life Doctors are making their moves after little action by the government. That is par for the course for the government, such as the Dogmeat Restaurant Laws passed immediately after the French expose' during the 1988 Olympics created quite a fuss about Korea. The other issue was the exporting of children for adoption, with many voicing the argument "Korea is no longer poor, why do they send their children abroad" (This will be a separate post as well).
The KWB noted back then, Here and There that it was only a step away that the government would make it difficult or even outlaw women having abortions. WELL Here we are:
Pro-Life/Pro-Choice/Don't have Sex?/What will happen NOW? YOU just watch...The KWB predicts, no HE Prophesies (He KNOWS) that the numbers of "Babies Born to Unwed Mothers" WILL INCREASE for the year 2010. All figures will increase, Hopefully the number of Mothers Who Keep Their Babies will stay at roughly 33% but the other 2/3 will go off the charts. SUPPLY of LIVING Korean Babies will go up like a 4th of July Rocket!!
Does this mean the Daily Death Details (the 3D's) might go down? Will women be forced to find illegal and potentially dangerous "Coat Hanger" operations? NOTHING to worry about folks, there are lots of doctors and clinics who will RAISE the PRICE and keep on doing business.
Remember the estimate of the government is ONE Thousand per DAY that are 'terminated' or 'ended', you know the 'UNWANTED Pregnancy' that is just SO inconvenient. The Pro-Life Korean Doctors know the facts, because they have the numbers of doses of medicine and operations, estimate FOUR thousand per DAY.
Oh, and according to the latest figure, 21 Babies were born each day, (7) seven were KEPT by their mothers (Report by Korean Women's Development Institute and KUMSN).
Domestic (official and CIVIL) accounted for (SECRETLY) (11) eleven, and the LEFT OVER 3(Three) were adopted by "RICH WHITE ELITIST LIBERALS WITH WHITE PRIVILEGE" OR so some people say. Uh, this is NOT true as quite a few Korean Adoptees are adopting and the Race of most Adopters is not ALL white. PLUS-The government figures sorta hides the SPECIAL NEEDS children who are adopted because they are UNWANTED by 97% of the Korean people. Oh, and we are not even looking at the Abandoned that go into the Foster Care then Institutions until they grow up, with NO FAMILY.
The number of Unkept, Undomestic/civil adoptions, will likely NOT be able to handle the SURGING numbers of Babies that will not be murdered but BORN ALIVE and THEN WHAT? Domestic (official numbers) adoptions actually dropped last year and Civil adoptions increased since now they can Keep it a dirty secret. Late Discovery Adoptees in Korea will becoming a common shock and awe for many, though they are being careful to MATCH THE BLOOD TYPE of Adoptee and SECRET ADOPTIVE PARENTS. Gotta keep it hidden, don't want the neighbors to know!
This is SUPPLY AND DEMAND pure and simple folks. The Supply continues to outdo the Demand on the home front, as the "Real" Korean people, For whatever reasons they have, simply do not support unwed mothers enough. Will many inconveniently pregnant women be faced with "Is the government saying that I should have a baby, no questions asked, even thoughI can’t support myself or don’t want a baby?"
INDEED, You saw it here first on the Korean War Baby, who accurately foretold in the future that the Government WOULD make it DIFFICULT to 'terminate with extreme prejudice' all those UNWANTED PREGNANCIES.
LORD help us, and our future brethren in THIS THING OF OURS-ADOPTION!!!
Capt. Williard (played by Martin Sheen)
