I had a slight scare last Friday afternoon, felt numbness and faint, then sharp pains in my chest. Called wife to come and wnet to emergency for a check. My heart was not problem, lack of food and stress, over last week...not as young as I used to be.
I have to kkep this short. I had a "wake-up Call" and a reminder from God that HE doesn't need ME that much. There are many others out there.
I felt calm but thought this was it. Because I have been Slipping into Darkness. I came across the WAR song "Slipping into Darkness" and it was like minutes later that i started feeling a stabing pain. I calmly accepted that GOD was about to take me out for Slipping back into the Darkness that controlled my past. I simply asked for "more time, not yet...who will carry on? It seemed to me that a passage about Elijah came to my mind. When elijah complained that "he was the only one left" the Lord reminded him, that He had 7,000 who had not bowed down to the false god of Baal. I thought to myself, I am in your Hands. Looks like I have more time here, sorry about that. but have to step back from the pit of hate and murder that was consuming me.
Even as I came into the hospital emergency room I felt such peace I felt like a haeavy weight came off me. I asked for forgiveness from God, and from all we read my blog. I have been asked by several people to REmoove so stuff but what i have written will stay.
I was cleared with no sign of heart problem, but the drugs they gave me have knocked me sillier. Got to take it easier, oky I am almost trhough. (found out SHE DOES read this thiing).
So taking a break "Off the line" to the rear, even got involvedw with Miachael Arnaold on Escapede talking about script and might heelp them shoot next week, if th wife says I can.
I got to go slhepp.
Update April 5, Monday, 2010: Went to ChungChon, land of Dak Gal Bi the Chicken dish that they are famous for, to help Michael Arnold with his docudrama "Escapade" (Check for Facebook page or on You-Tube). With good night's sleep from drugs and overnight stay, I answered the request from Actor/Director Michael Arnold, who is familar to many Koreans from his many appearances on Korean television shows. More about Michael later. It was a great break "off the line"...a time to REFLECT and clear my mind.
I need to get Centered again. Will take a break for few days BUT will not edit or soften my past posts,
WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN I WILL NOT APOLIGIZE FOR NOR MAKE EXCUSES ABOUT. I
A GREAT FOOL have I been this past week, has been given more days, which I don't deserve, it can no longer be about ME, I am nothing. I will seek the ONE who is the LIGHT of the World, who gives each day and breath of life to ME, without whom I am meaningless. I must get closer to the Blazing Light of His Presence and turn from my own Rage, Hate, Darkness, Pain, Anguish.
I'll be back......