Korean War Baby: Guest Posts

THIS THING OF OURS-ADOPTION

THE KOREAN WAR BABY

My name is Don Gordon BELL and I am one of the earliest of the first generation of KAD's (Korean ADoptees). The Korean War had been settled by Armistice three years before I left war-torn Seoul, Korea, on May 21, 1956. It was the first plane of twelve 'war babies' processed thru the Harry Holt Adoption Program. Read more of MY STORY on My Pages.
I grew up in a typical middle-class family of English-Scottish roots in greater Los Angeles, Ca, USA. Memories faded, Korean language was 'lost' and I did not know anything about the country of my birth until I met Korean Marines in Vietnam while serving with the US Marines. It was my first exposure to real Korean people. I was not completely aware of how prejudiced most Koreans thought towards a Half-Breed like me. I learned what "Tuigi" meant, a Korean word for a "Child of a Foreign devil". Oh, wonderful.

All my life I always had to answer the question: "What ARE you?" and I simply would tell 'my story'. It was not a big deal for me, for my Adoptive Parents had taught me that being an American meant that WE were from many countries. I never 'wished to be White' and just learned to stand up for my own identity. MY Identity was as an American, with mixed heritage. I did not know what being "Korean" meant but often wondered about my roots, and what my birth father's ethnicity. Mexican, Native Americans, and Spanish people would tell me that I had their 'genes' for sure. Little did I know they were right!

After college, I traveled to Manila and for ten years I lived in the Philippines. I was excepted as a 'mestizo' and fit into the former Spanish colony. I was a B-movie Character Actor, working on international and local films, enjoying a 'crazy and wild' abandonment. Then a life changing experience gave me faith in a personal Higher Being. After walking away from the film business, I lived back in the USA, not sure of my direction in life finding work in construction, finish carpentry, door hanging, and many other jobs I'd like to forget.

In 1991, at 38, I attended a Holt Heritage Camp that was a great experience and really began my own journey of Adoption Identity search. I had never thought much of my Korean culture, though I always felt proud of being "HALF-Korean" and "half-Something".

In 1994 I came back to Seoul, Korea, with my church Vineyard Christian Fellowship, and was invited to stay with a church in East Seoul, for one year. I have lived here since late 1995- re-discovering my "Korean-ness", teaching English and telling my Adoption Story to thousands of Korean students of all ages, helping their understanding of Korean Adoptees. It is one of the issues that Korea is now facing, even for its own secretly adopted children, those who were adopted IN-Country by Koreans who desired a family but due to problems with Infertility secretly adopt.

I was a charter member in 1997 (first dozen members) of GOA'L (Global Overseas Adoptees' Link, founded by Ami Nafzger) and continue to be involved with the complex issues of This Thing of Ours-Adoption. Thousands of KADs have visited Korea over the years, searching for their culture and Some search for birth family. Seventy-five thousand have come, yet only 2,400 plus have found Reunion with Birth family, often with varying results. There are many complexities, many don't want to search concerned about offending their Adoptive Families. Each KAD must decide what they want to do, when to do it, etc.

At 67, I am still 'working thru' my Adoption Identity. Each of YOU need to 'work through' your own understanding and hopefully find forgiveness and healing. Read many different accounts and compare before coming to conclusions. I hope that you will learn what IS happening NOW, in the land of your birth, the Rep. of Korea (South Korea). (See Report Links).

Times are changing, the reasons for 'relinquishment/given up for adoption' have shifted, but there continues to be a need for a multi-tiered approach and understanding of Adoption issues. Slowly, attitudes of Korean society ARE changing for the better. But, the majority continue to feel embarrassment and shame. Thus, Adoption is still shrouded in secrecy even for those who are adopted In-country . There ARE positive signs and movements of NGO's and KAD groups are advocating for the Unwed Mothers. However, two-thirds of pregnant women each year, continue to give up their babies for adoption. One out of four are sent overseas, YET three are secretly adopted in-country. The Myth that "Koreans don't adopt" is false, but they need to open up and hopefully change their shame to pride.

This blog is for EVERYONE, whether you are an Adoptee, Adoptive Family, Birth Family or involved in Adoption in ANY way as a professional, social worker, official, etc, from Korea or the world. We examine the complex issues and personal journeys that we, domestic and overseas adoptees, have to face and sort out in This Thing of Ours-Adoption. (Use the Search function to check for Posts on various topics, TransRacial, Tran-Cultural, Multi-Cultural families, Domestic, Civil Code Law Adoptions, InterCountry Adoption, etc.)

I personally have come to a compromised, nuanced position on this thing of ours-adoption. I advocate a Multi-tiered Plan that tries to be balanced, realistic, fair to all.

UPDATE: Living in the Philippines since 2010, at first teaching students from several countries as an Online Tutor, based in Makati, Metro Manila. I was working on a Digital Library for Online Tutoring or ELearning; developing an agritourism farm; and Overseas Retirement Care for foreigners needing 24/7 health care.

Then some 18 months ago, in July of 2012 I met with Andrew Leavold, a crazy film obsessed Aussie who helped "pull me back into film making".

WHEW! Lot on my plate. I have also been learning much about the Filipino society's very different viewpoints on unwed motherhood and adoption.

As of Sept. 2012, I worked on an Indie Film, "Baybayin, the Palawan Script", directed by Auraeus Solito, and international award winning Filipino director. I had a role in the film and explored my hobby as a STILLS Photographer. Currently I have quit all teaching, co-writing on an international film that will be done in 3D and CGI effects. I am back in the film-making business and I love it. I have continued to act in Independent and international films and in many projects worked as Stills/Bts Photographer. I cover film festivals, events, and continue to try to improve my Game. Semi-retired but love to keep active, now exploring mirrorless 4K cameras but still a Canon Guy.

Adoption Discourse needs to hear YOUR VOICES. Every opinion, even opposing viewpoints will be posted and interaction invited by email and Comments have been activated again with spam filters!). Welcome, come learn, and share your thoughts. Join social media sites and you will help yourself and others as you share your life.

#20 Holt Adoptee/First Dozen on Flight departing Seoul on 21 May, 1956 to USA.

Showing posts with label Guest Posts. Show all posts

September 21, 2009

Facebook Friends-Robert Johnson, UK

Robert Johnson

Networking on FaceBook is amazing as it has led me to people all over the panorama of “This Thing of Ours-Adoption”. In keeping with my goal of listening to ALL voices I present my first GUEST POST, Pastor Robert Johnson who is from the UK and presents some of the ‘darker side of Adoption’. A man of God who experienced ‘an adoption gone 'disastrously wrong’ he shares this tragic story on FaceBook.

Robert Johnson September 14, 2009

Hi,
My name is Robert Johnson and I live in Selby in the UK.
I run a group on Facebook called the Anti Adoption Alliance, which is a social group for all people, young or old, who have been affected in a negative fashion by the terror that is known as adoption.

The aim of this cause/group is to raise awareness of the issues, share stories, assist where families are torn apart by Social Services [otherwise known as the SS] and to bring people together under one umbrella and to formulate change in Government policy regarding adoption at all costs.

Robert Johnson as a cute toddler.

It is something that came about because of our story of an adoption that went disastrously wrong. (In the UK) 33% of them end in disaster and as a result, we were left childless, accused of being bad parents by people who did not take the time to get to know us and left to rot in jobs that are below our station in life.

I was a teacher of English, still am really, but can I find work because of what happened to us? No. Any prospective employer takes one look at the government paperwork on me and thinks otherwise; even though there is absolutely no proof anything ever happened.

Visit our little, growing group. And when I have finished with the website, please join there too. You will find our story on the Facebook group, but here are two links to let you know why adoption is wrong at all costs.”

http://www.fassit.co.uk/social_workers.htm
http://www.fassit.co.uk/separation_loss_utter_betrayal.htm

”I am now going on record as saying I adopted two children, but completely disagree with the idea and notion of adoption in every single way nowadays. I used to think ‘free the child/baby but now, I would sooner someone have an abortion if they are not ready to be a parent, for that is the single most difficult ‘job’ in the entire world and those that are successful at it, you have my blessing and admiration.”

God bless you all.
Robert Johnson
13.09.2009

The Korean War Baby comments:

In reading Pastor Johnson’s story I realized that yes, indeed there are many stories in “This Thing of Ours-Adoption”. The two adopted children a boy and a girl, were taken from them by the Social Services of UK, based on some accusations that you will have to look into on Robert’s FB to understand.

Painful stories and wonderful stories, all are valid and represent the wide array of the human drama of adoption. One must hear from every part of the spectrum, every story is intense, complex, of merit, the good, the bad, beautiful and ugly. What is truly amazing is how Robert Johnson has helped so many find peace through their own difficult experiences. Ask to become his friend on FaceBook to find out more.

The challenge for us all is to find the Best solutions, using wisdom gained from hearing ALL the stories. “Adoption is wrong at all costs” is a cry to be understood…yet to be also compared to others, those who see their adoption as ‘good’ for them. Does one outweigh the other? NO, but lessons must be learned to try to eliminate the wrongs, do the right things for all involved.

Next: The next GUEST POST will be from ALLIE, a Late Discovery Adoptee, who despite incredible pressures in life, works as a child advocate in court.

September 9, 2009

the adoptee's voice

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Adopted teen finds answers, mystery in China

“Your Blood Is My Blood” a blog written by an American woman who is searching for her own identity. Jae has an incredible skill as a “Spoken Word Artist” and she has the ability to speak ‘from the street’.
Link here: the adoptee's voice
Reader Remember that it is actually unusual for a “BOY” to be adopted from China, with it’s “One Child” policy, sometimes enforced very strictly even in the Rural areas.
“The father fell to his knees, weeping. The mother quietly buried her face in her hands. The 17-year-old boy stood upright and motionless -- whether out of shock or stoicism, no one knew.
Christian Norris, who had just returned to China for the first time since he was adopted by an American eight years ago, didn't know what to think.”

"Honey, are you OK?" Christian's adoptive mother, Julia Norris, finally asked. He nodded affirmatively, but said nothing.
The reunion between Christian, a high school student in Easton, Md., and his birth parents took place Saturday in a Beijing hotel room crowded with well-wishers and media on hand to witness the virtually unprecedented event.
Since the early 1990s, an estimated 75,000 Chinese-born children have been adopted abroad, and although they increasingly visit China on heritage tours, Christian is one of only a few who have managed to chase down their personal history.”

“He was born Jin Jiacheng in 1991 in Yinchuan, a city in the Ningxia region several hundred miles west of Beijing, to a couple who both worked in a hospital and already had a son. Because his parents could have been penalized for having a second child, he was sent as a newborn to his father's home village to be raised by his grandmother and a 23-year-old uncle, who pretended the infant was his own son. When he turned 6 and was ready to start school, they sent him back to the city.”

Korean War Baby comments:

Here is the gist of the story: when he was seven years old the boy was lost and separated from his parents while on an family outing. The bus left without him and somehow he got on a bus and wound up 350 miles away. He was found wandering under a bridge and brought to an orphanage. His future Adoptive mother worked for an Adoption Agency. Attempts to find out where he lived failed because he could not remember. AFTER one year Julia Norris, both a firm believer in open adoptions and a tenacious investigator who once worked for the television show ‘America's Most Wanted.’ A single woman, Julia Norris adopted the 8 year old boy and three years later a Chinese girl.

This story is full of interesting facts, an example of just things gone wrong in life. There was not ‘kidnapping’ or ‘Child Laundering’ in this case. China’s policy is already being reconsidered, after the high death toll of the ‘Only Child’ of many who died in the earthquake last year.

Read the rest, remembering that “Every story is different, unique, or similar, a SPECTRUM of circumstances and facts. We must ALWAYS examine the truth. Christian has a huge amount of STUFF to work through, no wonder he is overcome and I would think bewildered by it all. THERE IS NO SIMPLE ANSWER for the future, but with his Adoptive mother perhaps he can work through it.

As we must all work through “THIS THING OF OURS-ADOPTION”.