The Korean War Baby first came back in 1994 for a short two week visit. He was with a church group from USA that had conferences in several cities with attendance in the hundreds to several thousand. Playing the harmonica on the worship team, the Korean Pastor from Los Angeles would introduce the members of the American team.Blowing my Blues Harps.
When Pastor Min told them about the Mixed-Blood Honurrah Harmonica player, there was utter silence and
every eye focused on the KWB. Silence was followed by gasps and sighs, shock and awe. Only after a couple of years of living in Korea, after a church invited him to live here in 1995, has the reasons become clear. Korea was already learning about us Adoptees through media. Every week newspaper, magazines, television shows highlighted our stories.
every eye focused on the KWB. Silence was followed by gasps and sighs, shock and awe. Only after a couple of years of living in Korea, after a church invited him to live here in 1995, has the reasons become clear. Korea was already learning about us Adoptees through media. Every week newspaper, magazines, television shows highlighted our stories.Koreans always assumed that I was just another American, of uncertain genes which even then the KWB did not know.
I have heard from some adoptees who came back in the mid 1980’s to visit and some to work as English teachers. After the Olympics held in Korea in 1988, Korean Adoptees began to come back in increasing numbers to visit the homeland. The relative peace of the 90’s and election of Korea’s first Non-Military leader heralded the transition from military rule to civilian democracy. By then the flow of visiting adoptees was becoming a growing flood.
The Four major adoption agencies had already assigned staff to help in providing parts of adoptee’s files. Why only part, you might ask? Well, we must remember for instance that Holt International has usually only files in English, but Holt Korea (which by the way has been run by Korean leaders since early 1970’s) has both English and Korean languages. ALSO, in most cases there were files at the Orphanage or Center that the child was first left in, places that have in some cases closed down. Some information might be included in the files in the Orphanage/home such as a document called “Reason for Relinquishment”- THESE ARE NOT sent to the Processing Adoption Agencies. This was discovered in a recent case that the KWB helped on. It was not deemed necessary by the orphanage to send along. Important information was provided that was no where in other files.Yes, there are files that CANNOT be just given to the Adoptee. Even in USA recent case where a birth mother sued because SHE DID NOT WANT to meet the child from a RAPE. Somehow the Domestic adoptee found out her name and just made contact. The Birth woman won a law suit that HER RIGHTS to NOT have CONTACT were broken. Yet I do understand the Adoptees feelings and thoughts, having read many of their arguments. As a BIRTH FATHER though of two children, I personally would like to have contacts and have made inquiries on my son. I do have contacts with my “biological daughter”. But Birth Parents in Korea especially are NOT just ready to make contact. IT IS STILL CONSIDERED SHAMEFUL FOR KOREANS TO OPENLY ADOPT A CHILD, We Should try to see it all from the Korean Society’s perspective.
In the past CLOSED Adoption method was the norm and adoptees just weren’t expected to come BACK. However, Harry and Bertha Holt noted in one of their books that they always knew that some would come back and records were kept as best as possible. As times have changed in the West and subsequently with OUR Western minds many of us who have come, may have thought that Korean birth parents are just waiting for us. This is NOT always the case, nor is it the NORM.
Yes, there were tragic cases such as in “Resilience” by Tammy Chu (See left column for link) and “In the Matter of Cha Jung Hee” by Deanne Borshay Liem. These are true documented stories of irregularities and outright kidnapping-BY THE BIRTH MOTHER’S FAMILY in Resilience. Deanne was given another girl, Cha Jung Hee’s identity when Cha was sent to Europe. Deanne is still looking for Cha Jung Hee.These are but some of the weird cases but they do not represent a majority of cases. 
Some claim because birth families cannot be found that must mean that Adoption Agencies are guilty of hiding or falsifying information. There is NO SIMPLE “One Size Fits All” scenario, folks.
Some claim because birth families cannot be found that must mean that Adoption Agencies are guilty of hiding or falsifying information. There is NO SIMPLE “One Size Fits All” scenario, folks.“Resilience” has been shown twice in Seoul for special showings and SOLD OUT, after its debut in Pusan International Film Festival last 2009. Hard hitting story that is still developing, covering several years of the principal characters. But it has a bit of Hollywood marketing hype that is a great “Sound Bite” but just ain’t true.
“For every family created by adoption, another family was torn apart”. This simply is NOT true, please look at these disturbing facts from the MOHWFA: Disabled (37,276), Mixed-blood (6-9,000 estimated), and abandoned (29,950 NO Name/documents) they add up towards 75,000 plus. These are FACTS confirmed and available in English from several sources.
Were they TORN from their families? HELL NO. Don’t think you can honestly say that…Sounds dramatic but let’s be real, folks. I endorse the film but not the marketing ploy. Watch for “Resilience” to appear in Film Festivals near you. Do check the Facebook fan club.**************************************
“So How Come Only 2,500 have been Reunited?”
Could it be that SOME or MANY birth mothers/fathers are faced with the shock of telling OUR husband/wife (Korean way of identity) and Our Family that “Oh, by the way guess who is coming to dinner…your half sister/or worse the sister/brother you did not know about.” (Ask Maya, who is currently writing her story about that one, how her reunited birth family prefers to keep thing “discrete and secret” but could you teach English to your ‘nieces’ FOR FREE. Maya’s story was publicly shared last fall at “Boarding Bridges”. We await her book on the painful reality of SOME reunions). UPDATE: Maya is not Maya Weimer, MISTAKENLY MENTIONED.
We must remember that Birth mothers particularly and in less cases Birth fathers have moved on with their lives. The reasons are many for Korean parents gave up, relinquished, abandoned, forced by social and family pressures, etc. THERE IS NOT a single reason but many and could
be a combination of several. In a few cases poverty, divorce, or other circumstances led to giving up/away “Extra” children, Usually the younger ones. Hard to get rid of older children. The point is that Children were UNWANTED, REJECTED, SENT AWAY. NOW THAT REALLY SUCKS!!! Really, adoptees DO face these issues in life and Adoptive Professionals and Adoptive Parents/Family had better learn about them. The RESOURCES are out there for discerning folks to Do it better. But we still have stupid and ignorant folks in many extreme areas of the Spectrum. The EXTREME VIEWS are to be avoided, International agreements and guidelines such as the Hague Conventions are only recently coming into effect in USA, NOT IN KOREA YET.
Hopefully the latest Prospective Adoptive Parents are learning “To DO it better” and Adoption Professionals are also helping Adoptive Parents deal with the issues of Trans-racial and Cross-cultural families, Adoption Identity, Growing up thinking we were white, etc. Go buy the movie “Adopted” and be sure to get the “We Can Do Better” series that the KWB bought (support these gals and guys and LEARN, this series is great for everyone in This Thing of Ours-Adoption).
The facts ARE though that the RIGHTS of Birth Parents must be considered as well as Rights of Adoptees. OH, I read some bloggers of obviously disgruntled, angry KAD’s and other American domestic Adoptees who DEMAND the Basic Human Rights of knowing and getting all their files, so they can locate their birth parents!!! By God, they feel that THEIR right is to have everything in their files and that their Rights outweighs the Rights of the Birth Parents. It might be that the Birth Parents DO NOT WANT TO HAVE CONTACT, let alone explain to their family the shocking news that OUR Olma had given up a child or two before marrying OUR father. Why is it that we who were adopted cannot see this? Many of us do understand this balance of Rights, but the extreme Anti-Adoption Adoptee Associates claim only THEIR RIGHTS. Doesn’t it make sense that Rights of ALL involved in This Thing of Ours-Adoption have to be BALANCED and PROCESSES followed? It is just plain common sense that certain measures MUST be taken in the PROCESS of Initial Contact, Document Verification, DNA testing recently available.
Only in 2008 did the Korean government pass laws that gave budgets to develop in each of the Four Major Adoption Agencies a Post Adoption Services section. What was done before by only one or two staff, needed to be increased as more and more Korean Adoptees came back to first visit and experience, then some began to delve deeper. Some of us wanted to search for our birth family…news papers then television shows told our stories, then Reunions happened, yet with all the stories and shows Less than 2,500 have “reunited”.
The reunions are with mixed results, as would be expected. Most of the
estimated 190-200 thousand KAD’s are Korean only genetically. Some KAD’s complain and even whine and moan that they “lost culture, language, identity, family, etc”…somehow ignoring the INCONVENIENT TRUTHS that most of US were GIVEN UP.
estimated 190-200 thousand KAD’s are Korean only genetically. Some KAD’s complain and even whine and moan that they “lost culture, language, identity, family, etc”…somehow ignoring the INCONVENIENT TRUTHS that most of US were GIVEN UP.We were children of love, perhaps from rape, mothers unable to abort, mothers able but unwilling to end life yet Unable to raise us as they were rejected by their own family, society, lack of government support. “Products of divorce, spouse abandonment, Physical or Mental Disabilities, Premature, Mixed-Blood, SO MANY reasons.
Ranging from just days old to teenagers, WE who were adopted Overseas suffered Loss upon Loss, Separation from mother/father, Mental and emotional pains, Rejection, and much more IN VARYING DEGREES. It matters not at what age we were adopted, studies and stories of adoptees show that we were affected.Yet one must go back to the beginnings, the REASONS we had to go away. Only by going back to the REASONS for being given up can we find any peace of mind. You, dear reader, compare the opinions of many and make up your own mind. Find you own Balance and Peace.
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