TuiGi or 튀기- Korean people called me a "Child of a devil" but I am now a Child of GodThe KWB was born during the Korean War and given up for adoption by his Korean Mother. He and his sister discovered late in life that they were actually Really biological siblings. We were in the first early flights to the land of our American father.
He grew up in Southern California, uneventful, then served in Vietnam with the US Marines; enjoyed a "
"We are all like a brotherhood."
In Korea we lived, when millions were aborted, a 'perfect solution' (Please NOTE: Painful Sarcasm Alert) to unwanted pregnancy or sex selection. Abortion in the Republic of Korea continues to be used as a contraception option. These are uncontested FACTS- many women are forced to choose by circumstances, lack of support from "biological sperm donors" (Father is a Non Sequitur-it "does not follow logic") OR are just not ready to be a mother.
These young women are left on their OWN by 'boyfriend', their own family, government's lack of services, few NGO's, and abandoned by society to make this 'choice' almost completely ON THEIR OWN.
Many, many "fertility/women's clinics" can be found in every city of Korea, whose main business is abortions. An early abortions (Search 'abortion' with Lijit on Left Column) may cost from 35 to 50 US Dollars and OB/GYN doctors who rebelled against the 'so-called illegal abortions' report that the national number is close to 4,000 PER DAY. They are open seven days a week, no questions asked, no real age limit required. The KWB believes that a young woman should be shown ALL options before she makes her final Choice, as she will personally live with THAT DECISION all her life.
It is commonly reported that FIFTY PERCENT of Korean women have had AT LEAST ONE ABORTION, and of those one third had more than two. The KWB has personally met dozens of women in counseling with his American wife who had 3, 4, 5, even 6 abortions in order to have a SON. Yes, this is changing but slowly. More than half of the couples surveyed still consider a son VITAL, and the percentage on single child families with BOYS far outnumber the families with GIRLS.
In 2007, Unwed single
2464 + 2246 + 3014 = 7774
What of the 3,014 remaining? They are called 'Unknown' but it can be assumed that they are "CIVIL Code Law" Adoptions, that are not in government figures! Court records almost TRIPLE the numbers each year of the OFFICIAL "Domestic" adoptions. At a recent KWDI forum in Feb. 2010, every panelist member bemoaned that "No one knows the number of Civil Code Law adoptions", YET IT IS IN THEIR REPORT. I pointed that out to the President of KWDI that everyone agreed on the problems but no one seemed to have solutions.
How do they "DEAL WITH THAT?" Maybe the KADLinKs (Korean ADoptees Living in Korea) could help them work out the issues of Adoption Identity? Aren't we almost like brothers and sisters, and who else but Korean Domestic Adoptees can understand Adoption better...Hmmm?
The Domestic Adoptees grew up within their own country and Ethnic groups, but even recent reports demonstrate that many In-Country Domestic Adoptees have discovered that they were secretly ADOPTED. Ask Ron Morgan of the Late Discovery Adoptees about those issues.
"Who, What happened, WHY? Have I walked past my mother on the streets of Seoul?" These questions haunt them just like International adoptees, do they not? I have personally met now 5 Korean Domestic/Civil Code Law adoptees who still cannot tell openly that "I was adopted".
This is monstrously wrong, talk about Human Rights for the Child, this is absolutely hideous and does not acknowledge the primal wounds of separation that almost all adopted children go through. Yes, even those who are living in their "birth country" as a dirty open little secret that most older extended family members KNOW. If it is learned that a Korean was adopted there are a huge majority of Koreans who would call off the wedding plans.
Please, Dr. Kim Su Rasmussen, you sent an OPEN LETTER, and I have OPENLY RESPONDED. Where is your Counter Rebuttal? Why do you not answer on the legitimacy of the Election of 27 March 2010? Did "YOU sign off" on the "Final Report of the AGM"?
In the past and present, 60-70% of Koreans will only adopt 'blood relations' and secretly. Officially, so called "Domestic" Adoptees number over 87,000 (This does not count Civil Code Law adoptions which could exceed all estimates and actually be almost DOUBLE the "Domestic" number)- yet 97.8% are NOT told that they were adopted due to the shame of adoption. This ought NOT to be BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS.
Inconvenient Truths held by our mother's people, but it will take a prolonged campaign to change their hearts. Stopping InterCountry or Overseas Adoptions is not enough!!! Shame has not worked, rather more open stories are necessary like those of KUMSN or Momma Mia organizations that highlight the plights and struggles of Unwed Mothers who valiantly defy society, family, government prejudice to overcome and raise their children. There are huge numbers of Korean mothers who have KEPT their children. Approximately 55,000 Unwed Mother HAVE KEPT their children! Check the facts, don't believe the KWB.
We see some promising changes coming in Adoption Law Revision (This will NOT effect CIVIL CODE LAW ADOPTIONS). BUT Changing Laws does not change Hearts of the people.
This is "What it IS", plain and ugly, simple facts.
Everyday in 2007, these numbers: Twenty (21) children were born alive Daily, but 4,000 aborted EVERYDAY.........Inconvenient truth? Damn Right! Maybe we ARE 'LUCKY' to be born alive. Know that some had that terminology but it is incredible odds 4,000 to 21 = 190 "Terminated human fetus" to one Born Alive. Gee! Can we call this "Lucky to be born?"
The KWB does not have all the answers. He is willing to listen to all and seek answers. But some will argue extreme positions that make NO SENSE. Extreme and irrational views must be balanced with realities. Let us reason and work together to find a Balanced Multi-level plan of action. We must work with all to come to a better solution.
We are the Korean Adoptee Diaspora (Scattered). Many of us long to discover our roots and Self-Identity. Many cannot or DO NOT desire to go "beyond Culture Camps". How many of us can become KADLinK (Korean ADoptees Living in Korea)? They are just the few who CHOOSE to do that and are ABLE, and it is those of us like the KWB, who are meeting with "Real Koreans" everyday and sharing our stories. Many CANNOT OR DON'T desire to come and live in the motherland. We all must do our own thing. In the year 2009 it is estimated that 5,000 KAD's visited the country. Less than 500 live here for more than 3 months. Not all are disgruntled or angry, some of us are damn glad we WERE adopted.
To educate the Korean People! That is why the KWB has stayed, though everyday he faces a bit of rejection because of his "unKorean face".
In the 15 years he has lived here though he has told his story to thousands of students, parents, teachers, church members, etc.
Crib for children in process for a home SOMEWHERE, inside Korea or 'exported', pure chance on where one goes. Life is a 'crap shoot'.
All Korean Adoptees, even our secretly adopted Domestic brethren, all need to find out "Who am I". Adoption Identity has different meanings to each individual.
Most have found loving families, though some have faced further loss from life's many situations. A few have suffered abuse, wrongful separation from birth family. There are stories of sexual or mental abuse, of Adoptive parents who have difficulty understanding the issues Transracially adopted children have had.
The movie "Adopted" delves into many of the issues that Transracial Adoptees face with some parents. "We Can Do Better" is a DVD that comes with the movie that is a MUST for all involved in This Thing of Ours-Adoption.
The journey of Self-Identity is difficult, emotional, stressful, and some may never find all the "answers". We who were Adopted must walk our own paths and sharing our stories can help all members of "This Thing of Ours-Adoption".
The "first" generation of KAD's from the 40's (yes like Sen. Paull Shin of Washington State Senate) and the 50's are now in our late fifties and sixties, grandparents now. Young KADs are coming in their 18 to their twenties, seeking their own Adoption Identity. Three generations and it continues...
The reasons for our adoptions changed over the years but still everyday babies are born and given up, children are abandoned for physical, mental, and just the crap reasons of life-divorce, separation of parents, death, etc.
It took some countries years to no longer have a "supply" of children for adoption, such as Australia. Yet throughout the world there are millions of children who have been "single or Double" orphaned, needing homes. The supply and the demand will always be with us.
Preventing abuses and malpractices are the main goals, but the Korean War Baby supports a multi-tierred approach to Adoption. This seems logical and practical, acceptable to all. Can't we all work out a compromise, without hatred or ignoring each other?
Can't we all get along? Hopefully, most of us ARE willing and able. Let's work together.