Korean War Baby

THIS THING OF OURS-ADOPTION

THE KOREAN WAR BABY

My name is Don Gordon BELL and I am one of the earliest of the first generation of KAD's (Korean ADoptees). The Korean War had been settled by Armistice three years before I left war-torn Seoul, Korea, on May 21, 1956. It was the first plane of twelve 'war babies' processed thru the Harry Holt Adoption Program. Read more of MY STORY on My Pages.
I grew up in a typical middle-class family of English-Scottish roots in greater Los Angeles, Ca, USA. Memories faded, Korean language was 'lost' and I did not know anything about the country of my birth until I met Korean Marines in Vietnam while serving with the US Marines. It was my first exposure to real Korean people. I was not completely aware of how prejudiced most Koreans thought towards a Half-Breed like me. I learned what "Tuigi" meant, a Korean word for a "Child of a Foreign devil". Oh, wonderful.

All my life I always had to answer the question: "What ARE you?" and I simply would tell 'my story'. It was not a big deal for me, for my Adoptive Parents had taught me that being an American meant that WE were from many countries. I never 'wished to be White' and just learned to stand up for my own identity. MY Identity was as an American, with mixed heritage. I did not know what being "Korean" meant but often wondered about my roots, and what my birth father's ethnicity. Mexican, Native Americans, and Spanish people would tell me that I had their 'genes' for sure. Little did I know they were right!

After college, I traveled to Manila and for ten years I lived in the Philippines. I was excepted as a 'mestizo' and fit into the former Spanish colony. I was a B-movie Character Actor, working on international and local films, enjoying a 'crazy and wild' abandonment. Then a life changing experience gave me faith in a personal Higher Being. After walking away from the film business, I lived back in the USA, not sure of my direction in life finding work in construction, finish carpentry, door hanging, and many other jobs I'd like to forget.

In 1991, at 38, I attended a Holt Heritage Camp that was a great experience and really began my own journey of Adoption Identity search. I had never thought much of my Korean culture, though I always felt proud of being "HALF-Korean" and "half-Something".

In 1994 I came back to Seoul, Korea, with my church Vineyard Christian Fellowship, and was invited to stay with a church in East Seoul, for one year. I have lived here since late 1995- re-discovering my "Korean-ness", teaching English and telling my Adoption Story to thousands of Korean students of all ages, helping their understanding of Korean Adoptees. It is one of the issues that Korea is now facing, even for its own secretly adopted children, those who were adopted IN-Country by Koreans who desired a family but due to problems with Infertility secretly adopt.

I was a charter member in 1997 (first dozen members) of GOA'L (Global Overseas Adoptees' Link, founded by Ami Nafzger) and continue to be involved with the complex issues of This Thing of Ours-Adoption. Thousands of KADs have visited Korea over the years, searching for their culture and Some search for birth family. Seventy-five thousand have come, yet only 2,400 plus have found Reunion with Birth family, often with varying results. There are many complexities, many don't want to search concerned about offending their Adoptive Families. Each KAD must decide what they want to do, when to do it, etc.

At 67, I am still 'working thru' my Adoption Identity. Each of YOU need to 'work through' your own understanding and hopefully find forgiveness and healing. Read many different accounts and compare before coming to conclusions. I hope that you will learn what IS happening NOW, in the land of your birth, the Rep. of Korea (South Korea). (See Report Links).

Times are changing, the reasons for 'relinquishment/given up for adoption' have shifted, but there continues to be a need for a multi-tiered approach and understanding of Adoption issues. Slowly, attitudes of Korean society ARE changing for the better. But, the majority continue to feel embarrassment and shame. Thus, Adoption is still shrouded in secrecy even for those who are adopted In-country . There ARE positive signs and movements of NGO's and KAD groups are advocating for the Unwed Mothers. However, two-thirds of pregnant women each year, continue to give up their babies for adoption. One out of four are sent overseas, YET three are secretly adopted in-country. The Myth that "Koreans don't adopt" is false, but they need to open up and hopefully change their shame to pride.

This blog is for EVERYONE, whether you are an Adoptee, Adoptive Family, Birth Family or involved in Adoption in ANY way as a professional, social worker, official, etc, from Korea or the world. We examine the complex issues and personal journeys that we, domestic and overseas adoptees, have to face and sort out in This Thing of Ours-Adoption. (Use the Search function to check for Posts on various topics, TransRacial, Tran-Cultural, Multi-Cultural families, Domestic, Civil Code Law Adoptions, InterCountry Adoption, etc.)

I personally have come to a compromised, nuanced position on this thing of ours-adoption. I advocate a Multi-tiered Plan that tries to be balanced, realistic, fair to all.

UPDATE: Living in the Philippines since 2010, at first teaching students from several countries as an Online Tutor, based in Makati, Metro Manila. I was working on a Digital Library for Online Tutoring or ELearning; developing an agritourism farm; and Overseas Retirement Care for foreigners needing 24/7 health care.

Then some 18 months ago, in July of 2012 I met with Andrew Leavold, a crazy film obsessed Aussie who helped "pull me back into film making".

WHEW! Lot on my plate. I have also been learning much about the Filipino society's very different viewpoints on unwed motherhood and adoption.

As of Sept. 2012, I worked on an Indie Film, "Baybayin, the Palawan Script", directed by Auraeus Solito, and international award winning Filipino director. I had a role in the film and explored my hobby as a STILLS Photographer. Currently I have quit all teaching, co-writing on an international film that will be done in 3D and CGI effects. I am back in the film-making business and I love it. I have continued to act in Independent and international films and in many projects worked as Stills/Bts Photographer. I cover film festivals, events, and continue to try to improve my Game. Semi-retired but love to keep active, now exploring mirrorless 4K cameras but still a Canon Guy.

Adoption Discourse needs to hear YOUR VOICES. Every opinion, even opposing viewpoints will be posted and interaction invited by email and Comments have been activated again with spam filters!). Welcome, come learn, and share your thoughts. Join social media sites and you will help yourself and others as you share your life.

#20 Holt Adoptee/First Dozen on Flight departing Seoul on 21 May, 1956 to USA.

December 16, 2009

Unwed mothers need aid

Unwed mothers need aid - INSIDE JoongAng Daily

YOU SEE, The Korean War Baby is not making this all up! This JoongAng Daily articles references the NY Times here article which actually is about the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute’s November study. Link is here Beyond Culture Camp. Take time to read at least the Overview in the first pages.
Note this comment:

“The country has been trying to shake off the dishonor of being one of the largest “exporters of orphans.” Yet abandoned babies are still carried off overseas in search of families that want them. Most of the babies put up for adoption come from single mothers. Of 1,250 children adopted by foreign families last year, 90 percent were born to single women. Children continue to be put up for adoption because our society does not approve of unmarried women raising a child on their own. The same paper last month pointed out that most single women give up babies because Korean society eyes them almost like criminals.”

Can you see why only 25% of unwed mothers try to keep their babies? Yet ten years ago the numbers were only 5% so things are improving. Society will take some time, as the conditions are similar to USA in early 1960's on attitudes. In western society it is accepted (Single mothers) so much that we don't even think of it. Not so in Korea, yet, but with divorce now rampant it has changed laws concerning "Family registry", custody, etc. Many single women who got divorced now need childcare centers for example.

“Laws can be changed but the hearts of the people take longer.” KWB

Shame and guilt has NOT worked, all methods must be tried though to help change the hearts of our mothers' people. Society is slowly moving forward, we cannot change the past, only help form the future. We who were adopted must try to understand all these facts as we sort out the Why’s and How’s of our lives. It would be nice if there was no need of abortion, divorce, adoption, but let's be real...This Thing of Ours-Adoption will be a reality for a few more years.

An overlooked aspect of abortion debate

An overlooked aspect of abortion debate - INSIDE JoongAng Daily
The Korean War Baby is pleased to see continuing Media attention to this subject because it is connected to the issues of This Thing of Ours-Adoption. The way Korean society views one effects the other, even the issue of Low Birth rate levels are interconnected.

“Recently, some local obstetricians declared that they will no longer perform abortions, a practice that is technically illegal in Korea but widely carried out nonetheless because authorities often look the other way.

(The KWB must interject that the authors are very mistaken: Since 1973 laws were passed to give medical reasons and for rape or incest, giving a LEGAL loophole for the practice.)

The move has brought a long-controversial topic back into the spotlight yet again, one that has taken on even greater significance as Korea struggles with a low birthrate.
While the government has taken an aggressive stance on boosting the birthrate - even announcing a crackdown on abortions - some observers say it has overlooked a key aspect of the debate: support for unwed mothers. The lack of such assistance, they say, has given rise to more abortions and therefore contributes directly to the low birthrate.

Again the KWB demurs on the authors’ logic and assumptions. “Lack of assistance…has given rise to more abortions and therefore contributes directly to the low birthrate.” Well this is just wrong, Rather, women who chose to KEEP their babies has risen from 1998 to 2005 according to their own article here:

“…data compiled by the Korean Women’s Development Institute, the ratio of single women who said they want to keep their babies rose from 1.2 percent in 1998 to 31.7 percent in 2005.”

Notice also this fact:

“A study from 2005 by the Korea Institute for Health and Social Affairs found that 42 percent of abortions involved unwed pregnant women.”

Over and over the KWB sees faulty conclusions when the facts are contrary. See, that means that MARRIED WOMEN are still having , uh, 58 percent of abortions, wonder why? Medical reasons are actually less than 10% percent, could it be women still trying to get SONS? Just guessing. This is why one must check all possible sources of information and draw one’s own conclusions.

The Ministry of Health, Welfare, and Family Affairs also proposes to triple the monthly support.

“Our goal is to not just support unwed mothers in need, but to provide them with resources so that they can stand on their own feet. It is a more effective policy from a long-term perspective,” said Baik Su-hyun, an official with the family policy bureau at the ministry. “It is the first time that a particular subsidy for unwed mothers has been included in the ministry’s budget.” By Kim Jung-soo, Park Sun-young [spark0320@joongang.co.kr]

The Korean War Baby is pleased to see these developments and applauds the members of ASK (AdopteeSolidarityKorea) and TRACK (TruthReconciliationAdopteesCommissionKorea), KoRoot (Website here) as well as MPAK, Adoption Agencies, law firms, assemblypersons, everyone who is involved in This Thing of Ours-Adoption. It does take a village, to bring hope and change…

Numbers

Numbers- In our lives we are bombarded with numbers from everywhere. Here are some numbers the KWB was thinking about the other day:

Each Day in Korea:

4,000	Aborted Daily
7	Born Alive But Given up
1	Estimated Kept by Unwed Mothers
3.6	Domestic Adoptee (95% Secretly done)
3.4	InterCountry Adoptee

Hmmm, what do the numbers mean? Well, according to many sources (See abortion label on left column of blog) there are 4,000 ABORTIONS every DAY. The Korean government figures “Only” the number 1,000 per day. At this conservative number of 1,000 times 365 = 365,000 per year. At the number of 4,000 times 365 = 1,460,000 per year.
Seven (7) are the number of babies Born Alive each day in 2008 (2,550) and given up for adoption both in country (Domestic) and InterCountry Adoptions (ICA). One might say they are lucky to be born alive.
Of the 7, Domestic (95 % are now secretly done) the number is 3.6 that are adopted to Korean families. This the ‘dirty little secret’ that does not often stay secret too long. Many find out as Late Discovery Adoptees (Ron Morgan's website)
Of the 7, who after five months are not adopted by their own ‘countrymen’ the ethnic Koreans, they are then available for Trans-Racial, Trans-Cultural, “overseas/Inter-Country” adoptions. One may go to Europe, two will go to USA.
LUCK? CHANCE? Yes, life is a Crap Shoot. These are the numbers that we, who are adopted, must face in our Journey of self-discovery and understanding of This Thing of Ours-Adoption.
The Korean War Baby highly recommend that you read carefully this: Beyond Culture Camp by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute. It is worth the reading and you may download the PDF for free. Next posting will be a short summary from the website. This is also relavant: ROLE OF RACE & LAW
This Thing of Ours-Adoption is complex! We need to read, compare, absorb, analyze ourselves, study, etc. to grow and find balance. If you are reading this you are maybe questioning and seeking truth, wondering perhaps about your own views on your very existence. THIS IS GOOD, seek the answers, stay open and balanced.

December 13, 2009

Voice of Experience

On the flight from Okinawa to Danang, South Vietnam (as it was called in 1970) the KWB sat next to a ‘salty old Marine Sergeant’ who was about 22 going on 40 years old. I had met him during the week at Camp Smedley D. Butler, actually a number of bases collectively known after the legendary Marine who once said his unit was "prepared to land and shoot everybody and everything that was breaking the peace".

US Marine Corps Bases on Okinawa

Camp Smedley D. Butler actually consists of several camps.

We were going through processing at Camp Hansen when I learned that this Marine was coming back to the ‘Nam after two tours. I began to ask him questions about what to do and how to do it since he had been there twice and lived. He saw that I really wanted the straight scoop and slowly he began to tell me some things to watch out for in-country. Personal stuff also came out. He had been discharged from the Corps, never talked about anything to anyone, finally his wife divorced him. He had nothing else to do, so he re-enlisted and volunteer for a third tour.

The Sergeant was a man of few words, but I listened intently because when he spoke, I could see many memories flash through his mind. “Don’t trust any of them”; “Put one through the head, just to be sure…”-said with no anger or malice, just simple facts to remember from a voice of experience. He was going back for a third tour and some might think him crazy but I was praying that I would have someone like him watching over my ignorant butt.

This was no ‘by the book’ crap, he gave me short clipped words of advice that had the ‘thousand yard stare’ built-in. “Get a fuckin’ Colt .45 ‘auto’…steal one if you have to” seemed like solid gold to me.

Death Spiral into Danang Vital Area.

The Boeing flight was only an hour’s flight time, late at night for safety, and drinks were flowing. The Stewardesses (okay to call them that back then) were very, very kind to all. Over 150 men and a few nurses were about to descend in a gut wrenching steep spiral towards Danang Airbase, northern I Corps.

I was sitting way in the back when the doors opened and the humid hot blast of air swept into the fuselage like a sauna. When the heat hit us the thought struck me, “What?! It’s 1 AM!! How can it be so Hot?” Slowly the line moved forward, each man or woman with their own thoughts. A nervous calm settled on me, for I was facing a great unknown, entering the war zone of I Corps, the northern most of four military divisions of South Vietnam. I thought I was prepared to meet my adventure and naively was not afraid. I was on a mission, to help the Vietnamese people stay free!

I noticed that all the stewardesses were wishing everyone good luck but one ‘stew’ really stood out. She was rather short but very cute, Blond ‘cheerleader type’ All-American Girl, (and forgive me, well endowed). She was hugging each man really close, tight, and long… bringing a smile to most. She gave some a good ole friendly kiss on the cheek, said a quick “Good luck” or “See you on the way back”. She really meant it too!

My turn was up next, but before she could hug me, I jokingly asked with a silly grin, “Is it really THAT bad?” She looked at my innocent and ignorant young face then grabbed me in a tight bear hug and burst into tears, her chest shuddering and heaving in uncontrollable sobs. She continued to hold me in a strong grip, as complaints were voiced as men had to move around us.

“What did you do?” “Hell, what did you say to her?” “Hogging it all for himself”. At first I could not understand her, then 'My God, she was acting like I was her own brother!'

Then it hit me, like a bolt of lightning, a sudden understanding. Some terrible ‘knowing’ filled her soul, rent her spirit apart. I felt her terror, her fear and dread...FOR ME.

My knees buckled and a queasy feeling hit my stomach. I thought to myself, what have I DONE? I volunteered for this? She looked up at me, tears flowing down her face, still clinging to me. Finally, she composed herself and held my face with both her hands. It seemed that she was memorizing me, then wiping her own face she bravely smiled and told me very, very seriously, “You Come BACK, okay!”. I mumbled something and stumbled on, my mind confused and reeling.

At the bottom of the ramp the Sergeant caught up with me and spun me around towards the right. Men were unloading our seabags from the plane onto trams. The Sergeant simply pointed beyond towards a second tram coming to a stop. Aluminum coffins were stacked four to a car, waiting for the long journey back to Conus (Continental U.S.). Along with returning troops heading back from the war, these coffins would be on her return flight. Now I understood, and my foreboding increased. The Sergeant smiled, “Welcome to Viiieet…Nam, Marine.”

December 7, 2009

Every Marine is a Rifleman

Every Marine is a Rifleman

United States Rifle, Caliber 7.62mm, M14

"My Rifle: The Creed of a United States Marine."

"This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless.

I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than the enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. My rifle and I know that what counts in war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, or the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit.

My rifle is human, even as I am human, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my rifle clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other.

Before God I swear this creed. My rifle and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy.

We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until victory is America's and there is no enemy."

“Get Up Off Yer Ass, Private Bell!!!”

Platoon 3084 was marching at ‘quick step’ up the hills of Camp Pendleton, towards Edson Range. My former 'Recon Marine' Drill Instructor SSgt. Moyer was passing by with his slightly evil grin that made most of my fellow recruits be on total guard. SSgt. Moyer was of the ‘old Corps,’ who thought it best to inspire us ‘wannabe’ Marines with his boots, fists, rifle butt, clipboard, or whatever was handy at the moment. He was most adept at using a ‘finger in the pit of the throat’, and various other Oriental techniques striking pressure points with lightning speed and painful but only temporary paralyzing effects.

SSgt. Moyer looked up at the ‘slight hill’ ahead and growled out, “PlaaaaTooooon…Double Time….MARCH”. We all knew that the most sadistic of our D.I. always looked for a chance to run, not walk. On the command ‘March!’ we broke into a run, jostling and bumping into the recruit in front and behind until we got strung out. As one of the shorter recruits in 1^st squad, I was one of the last.

The recruit behind me elbowed me aside roughly unexpectedly and sent me rolling down a small gully. I clutched my M-14 rifle to my chest and tumbled head over heels. Somehow I ended up on my back, my pack wedged tightly in the crook of a very small tree. I struggled to get up but was unable move. I looked up and saw my Platoon Commander SSgt. McAllister passing by on the road, several yards up.

I shouted as loud as I could, “Sir, Private Bell, requests permission to speak to the Platoon Commander…Sir!!” Well, you can imagine the surprised look on his face to hear a voice calling from below the dirt road. He stood looking down curiously, recognized me then a look of puzzlement crossed his face. “Private Bell…what the hell are you doing down there?”

“Sir, The Private is stuck,” I shouted back, my legs and arms flailing about like a tortoise on its back. SSgt. McAllister made his way down to me and analyzed my situation. “Stop moving Private...How did you get in this here predicament?” Before I could answer he grabbed the shoulder straps of my backpack and jerked me free. I landed on my back and lay there panting to catch my breath still clutching my rifle.

“Is your rifle okay, Private?” Grabbing my M-14 he examined it to see if my front or rear sights were damaged. “Yes, Sir. Platoon Commander. I…the Private’s weapon is okay. Sir.” Satisfied that it was okay, he then looked down, surprised to see me still laying on my back. Scowling, he barked at me:

“Well…Get up off yer ass, Private Bell! You DO want to qualify today, don’t you?” The Platoon Commander was having trouble to keep a straight face and not break out laughing. I took back my “United States Rifle, caliber 7.62 mm, M-14”, and clamored up the ravine and ran like hell to catch up with my platoon. I did qualify that day, earning the Sharpshooter badge and just one point from Expert Rifleman. I liked the ‘Iron Cross’ of a Sharpshooter better anyway.

The Platoon Commander made a point of calling me out, in front of the platoon, informing them that ‘little Private Bell’ had qualified as a Sharpshooter. From then on, he would call me out as “Private ‘Sharpshooter’ BELL” and I felt extremely proud. We all knew that ‘almost every swinging d#*k’ of our series were going to the ‘Nam. About 90% of us wound up there, the last series consisting of four platoons to go as a group.

A Marine must be first of all a Rifleman and in our platoon almost everyone qualified as Marksman, Sharpshooter, or Expert Rifleman. It is one of our creeds that every Marine is able to rely on his fellow Marine to shoot any weapon in our arsenal or the enemy’s. The United States Marines are one of the elite fighting forces of the world, because “every Marine a Rifleman” is more than a simple motto it is a fact.

Semper Fidelis, Always Faithful!