Frank, son Conner/ Monique-Frank Pittser
The Korean War Baby spoke with his friend in California, Frank Pittser who had an amazing reunion with his Natural/Birth mother this year. Over the Thanksgiving holidays he had a chance to meet his birth family members for the first time.
Frank sent me a link of this program in the USA on ABC network, Find My Family. It is very similar to the programs in Korea like (The Person I am Looking For) and this site will give you many of their stories unfortunately those living outside USA cannot access full stories. Warning, have a box of tissues with you!
This is what some maybe many adoptees want to do, find their families, to find their past, their identity. Working it out with their Adoptive family must also happen, or there is a sense of rejection. Balance should be sought if possible. This Thing of Ours-Adoption embraces a plethora (don't you love online Thesaurus) of different stories.
Frank is a board member of hope4kids and shares his story on their newsletter.
In Frank’s own words:
“Nowadays, it is much easier to connect with one's birth parents. Some adoptive children feel they never need to meet their birth parents. Some do. How wonderful nowadays to have the choice! Our board member Frank Pittser shares his own story with us this month.
"I set my cup of steaming coffee on the coaster atop my brown wooden desk and opened my computer. Yes, need to return a few e-mails. Hmm. What is this from "Classmates"? Goodness, wouldn't that be something if I can actually find my birthmother? I'll be fifty years old in a few months, and I've never known anything about her until recently when my adoptive sister found a name in Mom's jewelry box . . ."
The Life Story of Frank Pittser
My life started out differently from most people—I was an unwanted pregnancy. Growing up, I always knew I was adopted. I’m not sure how old I was when I figured out exactly what that meant. It may have been when I realized that my skin was much darker than my German brother’s was.
My mom was a great woman. She and Dad had three kids of their own and I was the first of five adopted kids. That makes eight! On top of that, 24/7 she took care of six handicapped kids in our home. Down syndrome, battered babies, babies with birth defects—you name it, we had it! My mother literally sacrificed her entire life to care for her kids and the kids of others!
“Small box with handwritten note”
When I was twelve years old, Dad left us, but Mom was always there because of her great love for us kids. I was always curious about my birth parents, but out of respect for my mom, I never talked about it. I didn’t want her to think I was trying to replace her. She died six years ago and left behind forty years of stuff in a great big house in Santa Ana. In that big pile, I found a small box with a handwritten note in it.
On the back of an envelope, I found what I believed to be the names of my birth mom, birth father, and my nationality— Dutch, English, and Filipino. My birth mom’s name was Joanne Summers . . . hmmm. I wondered if she was related to Suzanne Somers, the actress. Maybe she was the heir to the Thigh Master fortune! My birth father’s name was Glen Bohannon. That name didn’t sound Filipino, and I was always told that my father was Filipino.
“Searching online finds clues”
I jumped online and searched the birth records for CHOC (Hospital where I was born) and sure enough, there was a baby boy born to last name “Bohannon” on my birth date. I did a Google search and I came up with 1,900,000 results for "Glen Bohannon". So, I checked out two. The first one had his picture posted on a church web site. He seemed close to my age, and he wasn’t Filipino. I was always told my father was Filipino.
The second Glen Bohannon was seventy-one years old. Ah! A possibility. This one had a
ClassMates.com account so I had an e-mail link. I drafted an e-mail with my name, birth date, birthplace, birth mom’s name, and I wrote: “
You, sir, share the name with the man I believe to be my birth father.”
“I am not your birth father…however…”
I fired off that e-mail in April of 2009. Six weeks later, I got a phone call. A man said, “My name is Glen Bohannon, and I’m responding to an e-mail you sent me. First, I’d like to say that I am not your birth father...however...I’ve been married to your birth mother for fifty-two years.” I got very excited! He told me what a beautiful lady my mother was and what a fantastic family she came from. He was a navy corpsman in the fifties.
I said “Thank you, sir...you are a great American. I really appreciate what you military families do for this great country!” We spoke for twenty minutes and as we did I wondered, “Is she still alive”? As it turns out, she was on the phone the whole time, listening. It was very emotional for her. She then told me the rest of the story.
“I don’t know who your father is…”
My birth mom said, “When I was eighteen and Glen was twenty, we were married. When I was nineteen, living in Tennessee, Glen was sent overseas with the Marines Corp. I was drugged and raped. I don’t know who your father is.” I replied, “At this point...it doesn’t matter! The only reason I wanted to find you was because I didn't want you to feel guilty for giving me up for adoption. I've had a great life and thank you for giving me life!"
“I never saw you, I never touched you…”
She said, “When you were born, I never saw you, I never touched you, I didn’t know if you were male or female. I always wondered if you were adopted right away.” I told her how my mother always told me, “I chose you...I saw you in Dr. Stella’s office when you were an infant, and I chose you.”
“One Thousand-piece Jigsaw Puzzle”
Imagine a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle in an open box. You don’t have the box top so you don’t know what the finished picture will look like. Over time, God shakes the box and the pieces of the puzzle miraculously fall together. The picture won’t be complete until the end of your life. But God, who is outside of
time and knows your yesterdays, todays and tomorrows, carefully orchestrates the details of your life.
For example....
My mom was raised in Missouri, in the Baptist church. Of all the places on the planet that my birth mom could be from...she was raise in Missouri, in the Baptist church. Glen Bohannon, her husband of fifty-two years...was for forty years pastor (now retired) of a Baptist church. That first "Glen Bohannon" I pulled up, had his picture on a church website...my half-brother...music minister ...of a Baptist church. His younger brother...full-time pastor...of a Baptist church. When I was twenty-five years old, living in Vail, Colorado, for two years I studied the bible at the Vail Baptist Church. My half-sister; thirteen years a Navy Chaplain, is now a VA Chaplain. Though, come to think of it, she was ordained at a Baptist seminary. I guess God loves the Baptists!
"Adopt means Take by Choice"
The truth is, before my mother chose me...God chose her to raise me. The fact that she had the names of my birth parents and left them for me to find is a miracle! If she hadn’t left me those clues and if the Internet did not exist, I never would have found my birth mom.
That first conversation with my birth mom, she said, “Today is May 18th, my 70th birthday. You were born just two days after my 20th birthday. Every year, on your birthday, I would pray for you. I feel this phone call is an answer to prayer.” Two days later, she called and wished me a happy 50th birthday!
“Face to face with my birth mom”
Six weeks after that first phone call, she and Glen drove coast to coast, from North Carolina to California to see my family and me. It was July 1, 2009 when I first stood face to face with my birth mom. She opened the hotel room door and the first thought that crossed my mind is, “I do have my mother’s hips!” We had a wonderful time! We tried to cram fifty years into seven days! My eight-year-old son has two new terrific grandparents. Not only did I find my birth mom, but Glen became the spiritual father I never had.
“Prayed for fifty years for a baby she never knew…”
What happened fifty-some years ago could have been nothing more than a tragic rape of a nineteen-year-old girl. But somehow God has worked things out for good. It was God who breathed life into me and chose the time of my birth to bless my birth mom fifty years later. Joanne Bohannon prayed for fifty years for a baby she never knew. In God’s time, He answered her prayers.
Twenty-five years ago, when I was a professional ski bum in the mountains of Colorado, I didn’t know that my roommate Len Carey would play such a significant part in my life. About fifteen years ago, Len and his wife, Peggy, started
hope4kids. For the past two years, I’ve been on their Board of Directors. I head up the
Adoption Option Campaign, which aims to woo the hearts of young women to
chose life and offer their babies up for adoption, if they are
unable or
unwilling to parent their child. At the same time to educate the community about the great need for loving homes for children given up for adoption.
"My birth Mom chose life"
I was an unwanted pregnancy, but because my birth mom chose life, I share my story with you today. I’ve had a great life and now I have a family of my own. My heart goes out to young women on the edge of making life altering decisions. One of life's most rewarding moments is the miracle of birth and becoming a parent. I have an eight year old son...he changed my life! I will always encourage any woman who is not prepared for the challenges of parenthood to entrust the baby to the adoption process. We at Hope4kids can assist you in choosing a family who will love and raise the child as their own, even as my mother did so many years ago.
I am a product of rape from 1958. I could have been another abortion statistic but my mother loves God and trusted Him. Whatever your life situation is, newborn life is a gift from God. For me, adoption was the best option.
God Bless you,
Frank Pittser
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The Korean War Baby agrees with Frank that though many circumstances lead to ‘unwanted pregnancy’ a woman must live with the choice the rest of her life. Rape, Incest, sexual encounters with no prevention or protection, the results force usually the woman to make the most difficult decision of her life. She must choice what to do, and the KWB feels ultimately a woman does have 'Choice' and should be given counseling on ALL her options. In America women overwhelmingly chose Life, some stats suggest up to 80-90 % keep their babies.
FOUR Thousand EVERYDAY choose Abortion in the “land of Mourning Calm”, but many other women choose to give life to their child.
A few struggle to raise their baby, with little of no support from family, society’s rejection and scornSome, faced with overwhelming pressures give up their child for adoption. In a perfect world this wouldn’t happen, but it is a fact of life that every year in Korea only a few mothers can keep their children.
In Korea, according to stats from government and NGO's presently 32% or one out of three single mothers are trying to keep their babies. However, two thirds decide to relinquish their newborn daughters and sons away.Slowly, the trend is improving and perhaps in ten years it will be two to one...Maybe one day, in our Motherland, there will be no more need for Adoption. That day is still in the future and we must deal with the here and now, without judgement, scorn, malice, but with understanding for all, in This Thing of Ours-Adoption.
Each year the hearts of the Korean people are moved to adopt only half, 50% of those Born Alive, because of lingering prejudices and social traditions based on Oriental teachings. Thousands of children grow up in Foster Care program, too old to be adopted. Shall they NOT get a chance to have a home and a family?
Even many Christian Pastors and leaders have told the KWB to his face, “I would never adopt, its against our traditions to take a child that is not blood related”. The KWB was Shocked, simply shocked and outraged!! Trying to restrain himself, he reminded them of the numerous passages that teach us from the Bible that WE, if we believe in the Son of God, Jesus Christ “received the Spirit of Adoption by which we cry, ABBA, Father!” (Romans 8:15).
He challenged them how THEY could not adopt when our Heavenly Father “predestined us to the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to Himself” (Ephesians 1:5). Is it not written, “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world…having predestined us to the adoption of children” (Ephesians 3:1-5). What say you to this?
The shepherds and teachers of the churches could not answer him…for they were speechless and ashamed. That was in the late 1990’s only and after teaching to hundreds even a couple of thousand Korean students Adoption aways comes up. He is NOT Ashamed to be 'Ip Yang In', 'adopted person'. He is co-heir with Christ, he is not the TUIGI "child of a foreign devil" any more, he is a Child of GOD!! Yet, the number of Korean people of all religions adopting domestically are dropping each year. They SHOULD be filled with shame.
Fourteen years later, times have changed for the better! More Christians, Buddhists, even secular Koreans ARE adopting, yet a majority keep it a ‘dirty secret’ because of continuing prejudices from society. Many though are openly adopting. Polls show 25% of young people are willing to adopt, though secretly.
Special Needs children are rarely adopted domestically with ratios of 12 domestic to 713 ICA giving another reason that Korea must send away their UNWANTED. Who can rationally say that ALL overseas, Inter-Country Adoptions should stop? Are they stupid or just ignorant? It takes a multi-level approach until his mother’s people shake off the past and embrace all their children.
Until the Korean people support the mothers who want to keep their children, unfortunately, domestic and Inter-Country Adoptions must continue. Perhaps one day, there will be a Perfect World for Mother and Child, in the “Land of the Morning Calm”.
Until then the Korean War Baby will shout out to all “I LIVE! By the grace of GOD. I am Adopted and BY GOD proud of it!! If you don’t like it, then Beware the Eye of the Tiger, he takes no Ddong”!
Mother, Son, and Daughter
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