Reunion is a Journey

picasaweb.google.com/dgordonbell/Kelly31stBirthday_May1_2011

Last May 1st, 2010, the Korean War Baby had the honor and previlege of assisting in helping to find the birth family of a young Korean Adoptee. It was only through a long process in which Adoption agencies, orphanage, InKas, and many others gave their time, energy, efforts, to help bring about a reunion. The KWB did not do this alone, rather he just helped bring things along, learning about all the personal issues that are involved in this emotional journey. Last year, things worked out that on the exact day of Kelly's 30th birthday, she heard from her birth family as they sang happy birthday in both English and Korean languages.  These photos are from May 1st, 2011, when the KWB and his wife Nancy traveled down again to connect Kelly on Skype with Young Nam, her oldest brother, her birth mother and father. We were able to interview them on exactly WHAT happened years ago, to answer a question we did not know, WHY were they give up? Video was also taken as the family tearfully explained the tragic circumstances surrounding those events.

Through the year Kelly and her sibling have had to deal with all the complex issues that only a few KAD's have to face, joining only 2,400 who had made contact with birth family in Korea. All the issues are being faced by their Adoptive Family, Birth Family, and both siblings. Kelly's last name must remain secret at this time, since the other sibling has NOT chosen to proceed. These things happen, especially with an older child who may harbor more pain, resentment, feelings of anger, loss and abandonment. This is to be expected with some even at the age of three or four. Adoption professionals have found that even at the separation at birth some adoptees have Attachment Disorders with their adoptive families.

Reunion with birth family is never easy, frought with an emotional rollercoaster and challenges. Kelly may soon take the step to visit them, and is writing on her experiences. We hope that she and her sibling, her entire Adoptive Family and the Birth Family continue on their journey of life.

With recent cutbacks on Post Adoption Services and Birth Family Searches, organizations such as GOA'L (Global Overseas Adoptee's Link), InKas (International Korean Adoptees Services), and even the four major Adoption Agencies, will NO LONGER be able to assist Korean Adoptees very well. We must find a way though to continue this function, which is vital to many Adoptees. Again, though not all KAD's are ready for extensive searching, such as newspaper articles and television show appearances. Many who come first on 'motherland tours' or their own visits can find the Adoption Agencies online, request files in advance before arriving. There are proceedures that you may find on the many websites (Search on my blog for the name of your adoption agency for a link, or just google them).

Yes reunion is a long process, one that requires much patience, open mind, open heart. Be sure to talk with everyone in your family about even beginning a search, as in Kelly's case things moved very quickly. Read all you can about the issues, from many different sources. Be prepared for the unexpected, drawing back at times, confusion, testings, and many other pitfalls. But we can learn so much from others sharing their feelings and experiences of their own. We look forward to hearing from Kelly, when she is ready to share. Are YOU considering searching? Push forward with bated breath and we all hope you may have a 'successful reunion'.