THIS THING OF OURS-ADOPTION

THE KOREAN WAR BABY

My name is Don Gordon BELL and I am one of the earliest of the first generation of KAD's (Korean ADoptees). The Korean War had been settled by Armistice three years before I left war-torn Seoul, Korea, on May 21, 1956. It was the first plane of twelve 'war babies' processed thru the Harry Holt Adoption Program. Read more of MY STORY on My Pages.
I grew up in a typical middle-class family of English-Scottish roots in greater Los Angeles, Ca, USA. Memories faded, Korean language was 'lost' and I did not know anything about the country of my birth until I met Korean Marines in Vietnam while serving with the US Marines. It was my first exposure to real Korean people. I was not completely aware of how prejudiced most Koreans thought towards a Half-Breed like me. I learned what "Tuigi" meant, a Korean word for a "Child of a Foreign devil". Oh, wonderful.


All my life I always had to answer the question: "What ARE you?" and I simply would tell 'my story'. It was not a big deal for me, for my Adoptive Parents had taught me that being an American meant that WE were from many countries. I never 'wished to be White' and just learned to stand up for my own identity. MY Identity was as an American, with mixed heritage. I did not know what being "Korean" meant but often wondered about my roots, and what my birth father's ethnicity. Mexican, Native Americans, and Spanish people would tell me that I had their 'genes' for sure. Little did I know they were right!

After college, I traveled to Manila and for ten years I lived in the Philippines. I was excepted as a 'mestizo' and fit into the former Spanish colony. I was a B-movie Character Actor,
working on international and local films, enjoying a 'crazy and wild' abandonment. Then a life changing experience gave me faith in a personal Higher Being. After walking away from the film business, I lived back in the USA, not sure of my direction in life finding work in construction, finish carpentry, door hanging, and many other jobs I'd like to forget.

In 1991, at 38, I attended a Holt Heritage Camp that was a great experience and really began my own journey of Adoption Identity search. I had never thought much of my Korean culture, though I always felt proud of being "HALF-Korean" and "half-Something".

In 1994 I came back to Seoul, Korea, with my church Vineyard Christian Fellowship, and was invited to stay with a church in East Seoul, for one year. I have lived here since late 1995- re-discovering my "Korean-ness", teaching English and telling my Adoption Story to thousands of Korean students of all ages, helping their understanding of Korean Adoptees. It is one of the issues that Korea is now facing, even for its own secretly adopted children, those who were adopted IN-Country by Koreans who desired a family but due to problems with Infertility secretly adopt.

I was a charter member in 1997 (first dozen members) of GOA'L (Global Overseas Adoptees' Link, founded by Ami Nafzger) and continue to be involved with the complex issues of This Thing of Ours-Adoption. Thousands of KADs have visited Korea over the years, searching for their culture and Some search for birth family. Seventy-five thousand have come, yet only 2,400 plus have found Reunion with Birth family, often with varying results. There are many complexities, many don't want to search concerned about offending their Adoptive Families. Each KAD must decide what they want to do, when to do it, etc.


At 61, I am still 'working thru' my Adoption Identity. Each of YOU need to 'work through' your own understanding and hopefully find forgiveness and healing. Read many different accounts and compare before coming to conclusions. I hope that you will learn what IS happening NOW, in the land of your birth, the Rep. of Korea (South Korea). (See Report Links).

Times are changing, the reasons for 'relinquishment for adoption' have shifted, but there continues to be a need for a multi-tiered approach and understanding of Adoption issues. Slowly, attitudes of Korean society ARE changing for the better. But, the majority continue to feel embarrassment and shame. Thus, Adoption is still shrouded in secrecy even for those who are adopted In-country. There ARE positive signs and movements of NGO's and KAD groups are advocating for the Unwed Mothers. However, two-thirds of pregnant women each year, continue to give up their babies for adoption. One out of four are sent overseas, YET three are secretly adopted in-country. The Myth that "Koreans don't adopt" is false, but they need to open up and hopefully change their shame to pride.


This blog is for EVERYONE, whether you are an Adoptee, Adoptive Family, Birth Family or involved in Adoption in ANY way as a professional, social worker, official, etc, from Korea or the world. We examine the complex issues and personal journeys that we, domestic and overseas adoptees, have to face and sort out in This Thing of Ours-Adoption. (Use the Ligit Search function (Left Column) to check for Posts on various topics, TransRacial, TranCultural, MultiCultural families, Domestic, Civil Code Law Adoptions, InterCountry Adoption, etc.)
I personally have come to a compromised, nuanced position on this thing of ours-adoption. I advocate a Multi-tiered Plan that tries to be balanced, realistic, fair to all.

UPDATE: Living in the Philippines since 2010, at first teaching students from several countries as an Online Tutor, based in Makati, Metro Manila. I was working on a Digital Library for Online Tutoring or ELearning; developing an agritourism farm; and Overseas Retirement Care for foreigners needing 24/7 health care.

Then some 18 months ago, in July of 2012 I met with Andrew Leavold, a crazy film obsessed Aussie who helped "pull me back into film making".

WHEW! Lot on my plate. I have also been learning much about the Filipino society's very different viewpoints on unwed motherhood and adoption.

Latest: As of Sept. 2012, I worked on an Indie Film, "Baybayin, the Palawan Script", directed by Auraeus Solito, and international award winning Filipino director. I had a role in the film and explored my hobby as a STILLS Photographer. Currently I have quit all teaching, co-writing on an international film that will be done in 3D and CGI effects. I am back in the film-making business and I love it.

Adoption Discourse needs to hear YOUR VOICE. Every opinion, even opposing viewpoints will be posted and interaction invited by email and Comments have been activated again with spam filters!)
. Welcome, come learn, and share your thoughts.


April 8, 2011

Adoption Families Top Ten Articles of the Month

 For all involved in This Thing of Ours-Adoption here is just one of many resources to help understand ourselves, and to learn how to ‘do it better’. Seek out more on your own, to help your Adoption Identity and relationship with Birth Family and your Adoptive Family.

AdoptionFamilies-Top Ten Articles of the Month

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Top 10 of the Month

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10 Most Popular Articles of March

Toddler Adoption - Adoption Process - Adoptive Families Magazine

Join the Conversation:
Share your comments about any of these articles, and read feedback from others in the AF community, by using the comment box at the bottom of each article -- or by joining a discussion at AdoptiveFamiliesCircle.


1. Small Wonders
BY ROCHELLE GREEN
Straddling the line between infancy and autonomy, toddlers experience adoption in unique ways. Here's what you need to know to face the challenge.

» Get instant support in our discussion groups, whether you're just starting out or waiting to adopt: adoptivefamiliescircle.com/groups

2. The First Dad
BY HEATHER OSWALT
"It has been hard to watch Kenneth struggle as a birthdad in an open adoption. I wish my husband and I could make it easier for him, and for our son."

3. Trip of a Lifetime
BY REBECCA KLEIN
Tips for (and from!) domestic adoptive parents on preparing for the emotional journey to meet your child.

Plus: More Travel-Savvy Tips from Readers

4. What We Wish We Had Known
BY JUDY AND SARA MYERSON
A mom and her daughter share lessons learned about older child adoption.

5. Adoption Blogs We Love!
We scoured the blogosphere for the most funny, heartwarming, honest online reads. Our congratulations to these 20 outstanding picks.

» Catch up with AF's bloggers in AdoptiveFamiliesCircle.

6. Solutions for Picky Eaters
BY DEBORAH BORCHERS, M.D.
Whether your child arrives home as a young infant or has spent years waiting for a family, you should expect food to present some challenges.

7. Talking About Race and Racism
BY JOEMY ITO-GATES AND WEI MING DARIOTIS, PH.D.
Racism exists, and it's our job as parents to talk about it with our kids. Here's an age-by-age guide to handling those conversations.
Plus: Transracial Adoption Resources

8. Going Camping
Ways to explore your child's roots and emerging identity during the summer months.

9. Family Resemblance
BY DANA WHITE
For a mom who was adopted as an infant, the realization that her children look like her takes on special meaning.
Plus:  More Adoptee Perspectives

10. Ten Talking Tips
BY CARRIE KRUEGER
A countdown of the author's best strategies for talking with kids about adoption, getting them to talk to you, and preparing them to talk with peers. 

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