THIS THING OF OURS-ADOPTION

THE KOREAN WAR BABY

My name is Don Gordon BELL and I am one of the earliest of the first generation of KAD's (Korean ADoptees). The Korean War had been settled by Armistice three years before I left war-torn Seoul, Korea, on May 21, 1956. It was the first plane of twelve 'war babies' processed thru the Harry Holt Adoption Program. Read more of MY STORY on My Pages.
I grew up in a typical middle-class family of English-Scottish roots in greater Los Angeles, Ca, USA. Memories faded, Korean language was 'lost' and I did not know anything about the country of my birth until I met Korean Marines in Vietnam while serving with the US Marines. It was my first exposure to real Korean people. I was not completely aware of how prejudiced most Koreans thought towards a Half-Breed like me. I learned what "Tuigi" meant, a Korean word for a "Child of a Foreign devil". Oh, wonderful.


All my life I always had to answer the question: "What ARE you?" and I simply would tell 'my story'. It was not a big deal for me, for my Adoptive Parents had taught me that being an American meant that WE were from many countries. I never 'wished to be White' and just learned to stand up for my own identity. MY Identity was as an American, with mixed heritage. I did not know what being "Korean" meant but often wondered about my roots, and what my birth father's ethnicity. Mexican, Native Americans, and Spanish people would tell me that I had their 'genes' for sure. Little did I know they were right!

After college, I traveled to Manila and for ten years I lived in the Philippines. I was excepted as a 'mestizo' and fit into the former Spanish colony. I was a B-movie Character Actor,
working on international and local films, enjoying a 'crazy and wild' abandonment. Then a life changing experience gave me faith in a personal Higher Being. After walking away from the film business, I lived back in the USA, not sure of my direction in life finding work in construction, finish carpentry, door hanging, and many other jobs I'd like to forget.

In 1991, at 38, I attended a Holt Heritage Camp that was a great experience and really began my own journey of Adoption Identity search. I had never thought much of my Korean culture, though I always felt proud of being "HALF-Korean" and "half-Something".

In 1994 I came back to Seoul, Korea, with my church Vineyard Christian Fellowship, and was invited to stay with a church in East Seoul, for one year. I have lived here since late 1995- re-discovering my "Korean-ness", teaching English and telling my Adoption Story to thousands of Korean students of all ages, helping their understanding of Korean Adoptees. It is one of the issues that Korea is now facing, even for its own secretly adopted children, those who were adopted IN-Country by Koreans who desired a family but due to problems with Infertility secretly adopt.

I was a charter member in 1997 (first dozen members) of GOA'L (Global Overseas Adoptees' Link, founded by Ami Nafzger) and continue to be involved with the complex issues of This Thing of Ours-Adoption. Thousands of KADs have visited Korea over the years, searching for their culture and Some search for birth family. Seventy-five thousand have come, yet only 2,400 plus have found Reunion with Birth family, often with varying results. There are many complexities, many don't want to search concerned about offending their Adoptive Families. Each KAD must decide what they want to do, when to do it, etc.


At 61, I am still 'working thru' my Adoption Identity. Each of YOU need to 'work through' your own understanding and hopefully find forgiveness and healing. Read many different accounts and compare before coming to conclusions. I hope that you will learn what IS happening NOW, in the land of your birth, the Rep. of Korea (South Korea). (See Report Links).

Times are changing, the reasons for 'relinquishment for adoption' have shifted, but there continues to be a need for a multi-tiered approach and understanding of Adoption issues. Slowly, attitudes of Korean society ARE changing for the better. But, the majority continue to feel embarrassment and shame. Thus, Adoption is still shrouded in secrecy even for those who are adopted In-country. There ARE positive signs and movements of NGO's and KAD groups are advocating for the Unwed Mothers. However, two-thirds of pregnant women each year, continue to give up their babies for adoption. One out of four are sent overseas, YET three are secretly adopted in-country. The Myth that "Koreans don't adopt" is false, but they need to open up and hopefully change their shame to pride.


This blog is for EVERYONE, whether you are an Adoptee, Adoptive Family, Birth Family or involved in Adoption in ANY way as a professional, social worker, official, etc, from Korea or the world. We examine the complex issues and personal journeys that we, domestic and overseas adoptees, have to face and sort out in This Thing of Ours-Adoption. (Use the Ligit Search function (Left Column) to check for Posts on various topics, TransRacial, TranCultural, MultiCultural families, Domestic, Civil Code Law Adoptions, InterCountry Adoption, etc.)
I personally have come to a compromised, nuanced position on this thing of ours-adoption. I advocate a Multi-tiered Plan that tries to be balanced, realistic, fair to all.

UPDATE: Living in the Philippines since 2010, at first teaching students from several countries as an Online Tutor, based in Makati, Metro Manila. I was working on a Digital Library for Online Tutoring or ELearning; developing an agritourism farm; and Overseas Retirement Care for foreigners needing 24/7 health care.

Then some 18 months ago, in July of 2012 I met with Andrew Leavold, a crazy film obsessed Aussie who helped "pull me back into film making".

WHEW! Lot on my plate. I have also been learning much about the Filipino society's very different viewpoints on unwed motherhood and adoption.

Latest: As of Sept. 2012, I worked on an Indie Film, "Baybayin, the Palawan Script", directed by Auraeus Solito, and international award winning Filipino director. I had a role in the film and explored my hobby as a STILLS Photographer. Currently I have quit all teaching, co-writing on an international film that will be done in 3D and CGI effects. I am back in the film-making business and I love it.

Adoption Discourse needs to hear YOUR VOICE. Every opinion, even opposing viewpoints will be posted and interaction invited by email and Comments have been activated again with spam filters!)
. Welcome, come learn, and share your thoughts.


October 29, 2009

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | China rescues kidnapped children

China rescues kidnapped children

Screen grab of "Babies Looking for Home" website
Some of the rescued children were kidnapped years ago.
BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | China rescues kidnapped children 
 
“Police in China say they have recovered more than 2,000 children in a six-month campaign against human trafficking.
 
The ministry of public security has set up a website with pictures of some of those kidnapped, in the hope of returning them to their families. 

The ministry website has pictures of 60 children, ranging from babies to young adults, who were kidnapped from their families. 

Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of children go missing in China each year.
Criminal gangs steal the children and sell them to childless couples.
In China's patriarchal society, baby boys are especially prized, sometimes selling for as much as $6,000 (£3,670), says the BBC's Quentin Sommerville in Beijing.
Girls are sometimes sold for just $500 (£305), he says.

Children of poor farmers or migrant workers are often targeted. The parents of such children have complained in the past of official indifference to their plight.
Human trafficking is seen as a growing problem in China.

There have been several high-profile cases of abducted children being rescued from mines and brick kilns.

Increased wealth and freedom of movement in China have made human trafficking both more profitable and easier, analysts say.

Beijing has promised to do more. A national DNA database was set up this year to help trace missing children.”
 
The Korean War Baby reads this and other reports with alarm and hatred for those who are involved. It must be stopped by the authorities of each country and that is why all “Sending and Receiving” countries MUST implement the Hague Convention of on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction (Hague...Child Abduction).

It must also be noted that most of the stealing and trade is WITHIN China. Perhaps some are being processed for InterCountry Adoption BUT in this article and others. In Jan. of 2009 this took place:
 
China busts Baby Sale Gang Jan. 2009
“One official estimate by the US government said between 10,000 and 20,000 people are trafficked within China every year, and that the vast majority are women and children.
The problem is exacerbated by strict birth control policies, which limit many couples to only one child.
Some families want a boy - one of the children seized in Yueyang was abandoned when she was found to be a girl, the Beijing News said.
Families may also buy trafficked women and children to use as extra labour and household servants.”
Diane Wei Lang, an author who has documented some of these stories, spoke on BBC just today. She says that the story has taken years for the government to take action.
The Korean War Baby condemns this practice absolutely. Yet…can one then claim that “all adoptions from China were abducted children?” This does NOT seem to be the case, when you examine the facts. Boys are rarely adopted OUTSIDE China, with some figures claiming 80% or more are female girls for ICA.

Do you have any links on this subject? Send them to the KWB, help stamp out this horror! What are the facts on Korea? The KWB urges the government of Korea to move forward on the process of signing the major Hague Conventions on these issues.



Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

October 28, 2009

Baby-Stealing For Profit? Truth on Adoption Agencies

QUESTION: ARE ADOPTION AGENCIES MAKING A HUGE PROFIT AND STEALING BABIES?

There has been many accusations on the internet that Adoption Agencies have profited in the Huge Adoption Industry. Why it is counted as a 1.5 Billion Dollar Business, with claims by some that Baby-Stealing is rampant. Certainly there are cases, far too many, of unscrupulous ‘middle-men’ making profit on ‘finding’ babies for adoption in several countries. The news accounts online are full of different countries shutting down adoption programs because of the uncovering of these gross irregularities.

Yes, even in Korea there have been some cases of mistakes, wrong birthdates or 2 birthdates on documents, claims of ‘abandonment’ that turned out to be incorrect, etc. The numbers of such cases are few in comparison with the overall total; BUT not for those who find out that the “story of Abandonment” might not be true.

Even ONE case ought not to be. It seems to be more difficult for many European Korean Adoptees to grow up in societies that on the outward appearance seem to be "Color-Blind" but are still in progress on social acceptance of those deemed "Different". Tobias Hubinette recently posted this on Sweden, one of the most progressive of countries, on laws protecting rights of all, but this study shows that in day to day living Asians/Middle Eastern/African/Others all have various degrees of racial prejudice.

To be Non-white in a Colour-Blind Society.pdf (127KB
 Again it seems that Laws alone do not change Hearts. Latent prejudice is only just below the surface, simmering like a caldera of molten lava, waiting to erupt. The Los Angeles Riots in the early '90s is a perfect example of racial bias turning into attacks based purely on ethnic groups, as Blacks turned on Korean business owners in South Central. 



Each story must be investigated and determined if mistakes were made, or if there was deliberate falsifying of documents for meeting quotas and making profits. It is difficult to do in each case because some of mankind is inherently evil and seeks profit where ever they can.

TRACK is an organization looking into these cases, and the KWB supports them and is a member of both TRACK and ASK Adoptee Solidarity for Korea. Post Adoption Services are now being done to help aid the thousands of Adoptees who are returning and looking into their past.

Woman who arrange marriages (Matchmakers) called 중매쟁이 or Joong Mae Jaengi also connect unwed mothers with infertile couples through legal but secret adoptions. The Dutch couple were a terrible example of this practice. Here , here, or here. Can we say then that ALL domestic adoptions are BAD? Of Course not, but “some people’s children” would use the “same brush to paint” an ugly example as the NORM.

Have some adopted children been murdered by their adoptive father? Yes And did another one kill her adoptive daughter, well, yes. here. There are other chilling stories of Adoptive Parents sexually molesting their own adopted child. BUT shall we blame adoption for the cause?

Many checks on families are done, but if there is NO police record of arrest even a Pedophile can slip by. The KWB WAS totally against “Same sex adoption”! He had seen children turned into Lesbians and Gays, raised in Filipino homes where homosexuality was the norm. To allow a child to be adopted into that is WRONG.

(BUT then, there is some cases in Korea, such as a famous clothing designer who adopted a SON and he turned out okay. Over the years the KWB has even become great friends with some gays and lesbians, some currently practicing and some trying to "quit being gay". His views on gays and lesbians adopting children is being tested, and the jury is still out, perhaps it is better to be loved in a Same-sex marriage than to be aborted, raised in institutional care, etc. Yes, the KWB has to consider even this, to be fair and balanced.) 

So, shall we then say that it was Adoption at fault? Life is full of problems and challenges, he does not want to minimize anyone's story. Suffering in life is not just due to being adopted; there is Divorce, death of parents, siblings, loss from disease, and smorgasbord of terrible things that afflict mankind in this life.

Abused sometimes become Abusers


When the KWB was counseling at the Vineyard Christian Fellowship he heard first hand stories of rape, beatings, physical and emotional abuse, people listening  to ‘voices inside’ telling to ‘cut out their babies eyes because a demon was inside’ the baby. There was no end to stories of sufferings endured by men and women, when they were but young children. 

Victims of sexual crimes are deeply affected throughout their lives, whether their abuser was of the same-sex or opposite sex. Some become sexually promiscuous with those of either sex. Sometimes a few of them became the Abusers and predators.  Pedophiles are reviled by the public, yet the facts are that 100 percent of Pedophiles were themselves sexually molested as children. Most do not intend violence towards their victims, in their own minds they are "giving love and affection" to young children. 


Korean society's views on Adoptees-Damaged Goods


BUT it becomes in Korea another reasons for 'many' Koreans to Fear, mistrust, or hate, those who ‘must have something wrong with them’ to be given up for adoption. This is the Korean majority point of view from children to adults toward the issues of Adoption. Adoptees have “something wrong with them” is a typical belief. Korean Media supports these wrong beliefs, and the horror movie "Orphan" did not help at all! 

Over the next few posts The Korean War Baby will look over these controversial issues. First, let us look at just the recent records of the KWB adoption agency, Holt International Children’s Service.



(Please look HERE for complete online magazine)
spring09.pdf (application/pdf Object)

Click on to enlarge
HoltIntlMag_2007-8Budgets_p4
 Holt International Online Magazine/Spring09_pg 4HoltIntlMag_2007-8BudgetsPage 4 Close up on 2007/2008 Financial Highlights


SHOCKING!!

Please note that in 2007

Total Revenue               
$19,240,847
Total Operating Expenses                
$ 18,883,395
Balance
$357,452

They earned a whopping profit of $357,452

Oh, the Horror! Money made for selling babies to terrible people who want to get a Slave, why they might sell them to pedophiles or lock them in dungeons...

HELLO! DOES THIS SOUND LIKE STUPID LOGIC? OVER THE TOP, INSANE? OUTRAGEOUSLY FALSE ACCUSATIONS?!!

Well it IS. Please look at the figures for 2008, after the effects of the global downturn. Let’s do the math again. (Double-check me)

Total Revenue               
$19,759,754
Total Operating Expenses        
$21,233,763
Balance
Minus   $1,474,009

HERE IT IS FOLKS, THE EXPOSE OF THE 21 CENTURY, Holt International made a profit, OH, NO…a LOSS in 2008…Hmmm. What up with that? Thought they were making the bucks?

Let’s look at the MONEY TRAIL. Where did they Spend all that money?

Holt Intl. Annual Report 2008

34,295
Children served in all programs
10,561
Families served in all countries (USA not included)
717
Children placed with Domestic families of their Birth Country
818
Children placed with US adoptive Families
218
Waiting children placed with adoptive families
40,931
Total accumulated number of children placed by Holt with US adoptive families 1956-2008



Enhanced by Zemanta

October 26, 2009

China Girl- Power Encounter

China Girl-Continued from “Drums? You Have Drums!”

“Aaaiiiggh!!” The scream startled the KWB as he was giving out tissues to crying prayees at the ministry time at Vineyard Christian Fellowship, Anaheim, California. Instinctively he turned in the direction to see a young Asian woman thrashing wildly as she screamed bloody murder at the top of her lungs. Finally she fell backward, landing on several people hard. Everyone was scattering away from her as she rolled around on the floor, continuously yelling, wailing, and kicking out.

This was something he had seen before, a manifestation of someone under a spiritual encounter with pure evil, reacting as though “something” was attacking them. Whether it was a psychosis of the mind or actual “demon” that caused this reaction it was chilling to hear. No one approached her, though a woman with a Ministry Team badge was trying to stop her from crashing into others who were on the floor.
 
Rite of Exorcism class

Exorcism Coming Back
Roman Catholic Rite of Exorcism

With no Badge or training the KWB hesitated, then armed with only his trusty box of Kleenex he leaped into action. He stepped up next to her as she rolled, blocking with one foot then dropped as gently as he could on top of her. It took some doing but he quickly pinned her arms across her chest and was straddled above her hips. Her strength was almost superhuman for her petite size.

She looked Chinese or Vietnamese, short and petite, in her early twenties. But she was filled with adrenalin or ‘something’ because it was all he could do to hold her down. One arm jerked loose, knocked his glasses away and tore at his face before he caught it and pinned her arms to the floor. A woman with a Ministry Team Badge made the mistake of leaning over and received a perfectly aimed phlegm.


The woman with a Badge came back but kept her distance. She told the KWB to pray, “Hey, I don’t have training, I need a badge”. She told him “You don’t need a badge, I’m right here, pray against Ancestral spirits”. (Sure, she wasn’t exactly near, keeping six feet away as the lovely China Girl continued screaming and spitting at him or anyone who came too close.)


So, following instructions he boldly commanded, “I come against all Darkness, in the name of…” He had no time to finish because it was like throwing gasoline on a fire, bucking like a bronco and howling in rage, a deep “Voice” came out from her cursing in, Chinese? Yes it must be, it wasn’t Vietnamese.
 
Now at this point a curious and strange thing occurred…Suddenly, the ‘face’ of the China Girl was twisted into a mask- almost exactly like the kind you see in Korea with down-turned mouth, eyes bulging, every facial muscle contorted in ways humanly impossible. Her eyes rolled backwards until only the whites showed. She was hyper-ventalating loudly, her chest heaving up and down. This was getting really “Exorcist” stuff now.

Who are YOU?!! WE KNOW about YOU!!” The voices were deep and chilling and her distorted eyes looked menacingly at him. What? They KNEW him? Well, that was for certain from his past sinful life, but could they TELL everything outloud? What was he doing here?

Marvelous! He was about to be outted by a demon? A public revelation of his Sins, oh crap. Where was the woman with the Badge! ‘You have NO Badge, you need a stinkin badge!the Voice mocked. Panic and Fear knocked violently at his mind. Doubts assailed him, ‘what do you think you are doing? You are one of us!

The China Girl added another well aimed shot of phlegm, and one hand got loose and tried to grab his privates. Insults and injury, this was indeed more than he had bargained for. He wondered when the ‘cavalry’ would arrive and HELP. He got the hand pinned down again, shocked at the terrorfying look in 'it's eyes'.

Then a hand rested on his left shoulder, a strong firm hand, it must be one of the pastors he thought but was too busy to glance backwards. It instantly gave him confidence and reassurance. Courage welled up…and righteous anger. He spied a cross around the China Girl’s neck, she was a Christian! They can’t do This to her!

He raised his voice and commanded in a Marine Corps Drill Instructor’s VOICE, En El Nombre De Jesus, Silencio!!” That seemed to work! Perhaps Spanish worked better than English. Her body arched up like a bronco then shook violently as though a great conflict was raging within. But the growling diminished in volume and fierceness.

The woman with the Badge, came up behind him and gave him guidance. “Ancestoral spirits, pray against them.” “I break the power of every Ancestoral spirit in your family history”. Following her suggestions the KWB continued to pray until gradually the China Girl’s normal face returned.

With one last deep sigh and a violent shudder, her body went totally limp, relaxed. Her breathing slowed down, then the China Girl opened her eyes with clarity and confusion, perhaps wondering why he was pinning her down. She smiled sweetly, “Ah, Hello”. Thinking this could be a trick, the KWB stayed on top. The woman with the Badge looked closely, declared that it was now safe to let her get up. Finally convinced that she was okay, he raised himself off and helped her sit up.

He turned to thank the person who had prayed with him throughout, silently giving him confidence. There was no one nearby! Strange he was there just moments ago. He asked the woman with a Badge, but she just shook her head, “Who? I didn’t notice anyone”. She turned back to ‘post-prayer counseling’ the China Girl.


Tim came over to the KWB and picked up the crushed Kleenex box. “Tim, who was standing behind me? He never spoke but I FELT his hand on my shoulder.” Tim looked at him curiously, “Don’t know, bud, I looked over at you several times. No one but Cheryl was anyway near you guys. That girl was manifesting something fierce.”

No, I felt a hand on my shoulder for long time…are you sure?”
Tim looked at him, “I’ve had the same thing happen couple of times…might have been an angel. Here, you got spit all over you!” handing him tissues from the Kleenex box. The KWB made his way to the restroom, trying to process and figure out what had happened. Was it psychotic rage…or did the China Girl actually have ‘ancestral spirits’? He had always been intrigued by supernatural knowledge and power but this was Face to Face stuff. Though frightened by it all, he was also drawn in.

The next day at the Tape Lending Booth, John Wimber’s wife Carol came to the booth. Carol told him he should sign up for Ministry Training Classes starting the next week. He told her he didn’t think he was ready yet for that. She told him, “Looks like you were doing fine last night, a little bit rough technique-wise. We don’t usually sit on people when we pray for them,” she laughed. He signed up that day and took all the classes they had over the next few years. In a couple of months, he even HAD A BADGE.


He was soon on both Small and Large Ministry Teams, “Doing the Stuff” as they said at Vineyard. Over the next several years the KWB travel to England, Germany, South Africa. He would see many other amazing and hard to believe things. Power encounters between spiritual forces, physical healings, emotional and mental healings, things he did not fully understand.

Many are fascinated by the supernatural, is it real or just movie stuff? Have you had 'power encounter' experiences in the supernatural?


 Exorcism of Emily Rose


Next: Screams for Help-Conclusion



Enhanced by Zemanta

October 23, 2009

Drums?! You Have Drums!!

Drums?! You have drums?!

 

Flashback:
The memory came rushing back of that first time, he walked, no he ran into a church, ran into Church! Can you imagine that? Walking into the warehouse building, they were fifteen minutes early. People rapidly flowed in as they opened the doors, rushing inside almost like they were going to a Baseball game. This WAS church, wasn’t it? The Vineyard Christian Fellowship, late 1985, was born of the Jesus Movement in the mid ‘70s, yet a cross-section of Southern California.

Uncle Wayne had introduced Tim, who was a typical “Surfer dude”. Tim was leading the way with his wife, as the Korean War Baby rushed to keep up. Excitement and energy filled the large room, already half-full and filling up as people of all ages streamed in from many doors. Tim lead us right up to the left hand section, where the Large Ministry Teams had reserved six rows for them.
 
What is that? Up on the simple stage the worship band was tuning their guitars; bass, rhythm, lead, and acoustic. Eddie Espinosa was leading worship that night I remember, he looked up and eyed us, nodding towards Tim.

“That’s a Rock band! A Drum set?! You have  drums!” The lead guitarist went through a rift and the bass joined in. The KWB looked around, several long haired hippie types stood next to well dressed upper class types. They were already bobbing back and forth, clapping in time with the band. The crowd was a definitely Southern California, across age, class, ethnicity, fashionable to pure laid back surfer dudes and babes.
 
A roar of pure pleasure went up…after Eddie called out over the mic, “You guys ready to worhip the Lord?” Most were standing, while others quietly sat, in minutes most seats were filled. The drummer played the intro to the first song of celebration. Some of the lyrics to the first song, “You brought me to this place” hit home.

The KWB knew, just knew that THIS is the place, he felt at home. God HAD led him to this unusual church, where they worshipped with songs of celebration, praise, hey, they really liked church. Songs sung TO GOD not just ABOUT him.

They were more personal, in the second person, “You are My King, and I love You”, “You are mine and I am Yours”, “Jesus, I love You”, “Change my heart, oh God”, “In your Arms of Love”. Sounded like Love Songs…to God! Many people were crying, laughing, dancing, sitting, or jumping, doing whatever they wanted to do. Totally free worship. This was weird but cool, he thought as he scanned the crowd.

Reverse Culture Shock!
 
The KWB had just arrived three weeks before from the Philippines, going through reverse-culture shock after living outside the country for ten years. He felt like Rip Van Winkle, staring at the scanner at the grocery store, until the checker lady asked him, “Are you visiting our country sir?” (Are you from some backward country or Mars? She meant). “Oh, No…I heard about these but they don’t have them yet in the Philippines, I’m American but I have been out of the country for a long time!”, he answered slightly embarrassed.

He had bought a car, license to drive, bought clothes, settled into his Aunt Anna and Uncle Wayne’s home in Long Beach. When Uncle Wayne asked him about a church, he introduced him to Tim just down the street, noting that I might like the church, more contemporary in style. (You Think? This was blowing my doors off!)
 
The sermon by John Wimber was cool, simple and easy to understand. John had been a musician and promoter of some well known bands before getting saved. VCF had started just in 1977 and in 1985 had exploded in growth. John then gave a call for those wanting prayer to come forward. Hey, this is just like an Evangelical church, an altar call. Tim and the other Large Ministry Team members spread out among the people who crowded into and filled the front area.

Then John prayed a simple prayer, “Holy Spirit, Come…Come and touch your people”, as the music played softly. In moments a woman cried out in a long wailing groan; others sank down, some burst into tears, some smiled as if experiencing great pleasure. Team members went around and “blessed what they saw God doing” touching on the shoulders or forehead lightly. Soon many were crying profusely, with tears and runny noses dripping snot down their faces.

Tears and Snot, running down their faces!
 
OH, why doesn’t somebody DO something, they had Kleenex boxes on the edge of the stage,” thought the KWB, remembering the many times he had wept in guilt and remorse over the last year since THAT night, on March 2. Boxes of Kleenex were placed on the stage, but no one was handing them out.
 
The KWB had to do something, he jumped up and grabbed a box of Kleenex, went to Tim and pressed several into his hands. The woman, the Prayee, had a huge snot hanging down from her nose. Tim gingerly ‘caught’ the snot, nodded thanks and encouraged him to pass out more to others.

Hey, you know what they say, “Dirty job, but somebody has to do it”. He went around to people and quietly pressed tissues into their hands, or gave them to team members. One woman on the stage was observing him and smiled at the KWB, then gave him a ‘thumbs up’. Turned out she was John Wimber’s wife. Thus began the KWB first calling, as the ‘Kleenex Man’, coined by John’s wife. 

He began to attend church three times a week, then four, five times, finally everyday they opened the doors. He volunteered for the “tape lending booth”, coming in for half days 3 days a week, easy since he worked the night shift as a security guard. (From movies then reduced to a security guard! Oh, the horror!).
In the small alcove of the Tape Lending Booth, he was making copies and mailing cassette tapes to people all over the country. One perk was he could listen for free to every teaching tape he wanted. In one month’s time he was no longer known as Tim’s friend, everyone knew him as “Kleenex guy” or “Tape Cassette man”.
What is happening to her?
It was in the seventh week, that “IT” happened. Something weird happened, something he had seen before, a power encounter, darkness against light…the event would radically change the level of his involvement to a new plane.
A Chinese-American girl… smiling sweetly and “receiving God’s love” one moment, then...all hell breaking loose!
(To Be continued)
Enhanced by Zemanta

Casting Stones?-Not the KWB!




The Korean War Baby wants to make something VERY CLEAR. He does not condone the act of abortion, but he does NOT conDEMN any who are involved, not the woman, doctors or nurses, bio-fathers, NO ONE. But for the grace of God, the KWB should be stoned numerous times for uncountable crimes/sins against humanity. If God truly counts “Thoughts of sin” well, he is toast. No, someone said, “hate the sin, love the sinner”.
This story says it all…

Christ and the Woman Taken in Adultery Bruegel
Image via Wikipedia
“Woman Caught in Adultery”
New Testament: Gospel of John (NKJV) e-sword 'electronic bible'
John 8:1  But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
Joh 8:2  And early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him. And He sat down and taught them.
Joh 8:3  And the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman taken in adultery. And standing her in the midst,
Joh 8:4  they said to Him, Teacher, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
(Notice- where is the man? They let him go, what’s up with that?)

Joh 8:5  Now Moses in the Law commanded us that such should be stoned. You, then, what do you say?
Joh 8:6  They said this, tempting Him so that they might have reason to accuse Him. But bending down, Jesus wrote on the ground with His finger, not appearing to hear.
 (You got to love this-Jesus does NOT appear to hear the accusations against us, those who have put their faith in Him and been adopted into His Family)
Joh 8:8  And again bending down, He wrote on the ground.
Joh 8:9  And hearing, and being convicted by conscience, they went out one by one, beginning at the oldest, until the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.


Joh 8:7  But as they continued to ask Him, He lifted Himself up and said to them, He who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her.


(See the oldest realized that Jesus had them trapped, if they threw a stone now, they would be claiming to be perfect, without sin. Couldn’t do THAT. One by one, they left and dropped their rocks)

Joh 8:10  And bending back up, and seeing no one but the woman, Jesus said to her, Woman, where are the ones who accused you? Did not one give judgment against you?
Joh 8:11  And she said, No one, Lord. And Jesus said to her, Neither do I give judgment. Go, and sin no more.

Someone, somewhere said something like this, “Be careful pointing a finger at someone…there are three fingers pointing back at you!” No, sir. The Korean War Baby cannot know the mind of a woman caught in THAT situation. To be forced to make that CHOICE? As a Man, who can know a woman’s thoughts, pain, suffering, or point a finger of blame? A few of the Pro-LIFE folks mistakenly shout ‘murderer’ and other insane things at women going into clinics. This ought NOT to be.
That is WRONG on many levels! It is ‘throwing stones’ and giving judgment, not demonstrating the Love of God. Some who disagree with issues of abortion, adoption, Life or Choice, all have their different views and the KWB honors their rights.

The story of how the very woman, using the pseudonym of Jane Roe, of “Roe vs. Wade”, Norma Mccorvey no longer believes in abortion. How did that happen? She was won over by a young girl, who was almost aborted, showing her the love of God. Norma gradually came to repentance, forgiveness, and healing. Now that is something to say, Amen, so be it!
Peace to All.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

October 20, 2009

Screams for Help

Screams for Help



Seoul Subway line 4-Going home to Ansan City

The Korean War Baby should have left earlier! It was almost 11 pm, would there be one last subway train to his destination? Just as he reached the platform at the transfer station at ISU he saw a train pulling out. Nuts!! Missed it by that much…wait…many people still here, that meant the train was only going to Sadang then reversing direction back north. There must be another one going to Oido or Ansan, which are both past his station, whew, made it.

Groups of commuters filled the platform; high school girls in their uniforms (stop looking); businessmen in disheveled suits after socializing with their peers; university students joking with one another; sleepy ‘Ahjumas’ and ‘Ahjohshis’ (Older women-over 35’ish and older men); It was just another Saturday Night in Seoul, Republic of Korea.

It had been good to see some old expat friends at 3 Alley Pub, his favorite ‘watering hole’ with the most beers on draft in the whole city. San Miguel beer from the Philippines, ON DRAFT? This was living! And the sirloin steak was perfect tonight, the touch of Western culture that he always missed, (even though the meat was from Australia). Stayed away from the Dice Game, too many shots of Jagermeister in that game, win or lose. The KWB had early classes tomorrow, yes on Sunday, no rest for the blessed.

“Hey, you handsome bastard, have a shot of Jager with me!” Albert, one of the owners of 3 Alley Pub, called out to the KWB. “Of course, one more for the road with you”, the KWB replied, "Jagermeister IS good for the body and soul." Yes, it was always great to see all the other Victims of Korean Wives (VKW), with over 200 ex-pat members who are married to Korean women. We get discounts on draft beer when we wear our VKW shirts on Saturday Nights. (Nicholas Cage is an honorary member and has visited the 3 Alley.)

Aiiiiyaaaahh! Uggghh, ugggh, aaaaahh!” Piercing screams suddenly shattered his thoughts- “My God, what is THAT?” Down the platform, people were reacting to the creening wailing animal-like screams, scattering like frightened birds from the source of the plaintive howls. Yelling that sent chills down one’s back, like the howls of wolves.

It had to be from near the elevator, out of sight, but the direction of the stares gave the KWB the place, and without much thought, the KWB moved towards the elevator. The high-pitched wails sounded like, what? Yes, a ‘frightened child, separated from it’s mother’.

The Korean War Baby KNEW those cries, deep in his own spirit, cries of despair…desperation…Abandonment. At five years old he was suddenly separated from his Korean mother, who had no recourse to raise two mixed-blood children. Yes, that was it, someone was screaming out in total despair and agony. At full volume, continuously screaming, not in Korean words, but in groans from deep in the psyche, torn by pain and a shattered spirit. Yes, he knew the “Kibun”, a Korean word that means ‘spirit, emotions, feelings’, of those cries within himself. He must respond, for nobody else was going to help.

Several people were calling on their cell phones, looking in disgust or derision, nervously laughing now that danger seemed unlikely. The high school girls looked towards the source of the screaming, almost giggling not in meanness but with no understanding. As the KWB rounded the corner cautiously he saw a young Korean man. There, crouched down on the floor clutching his knees and leaning against the wall was a slightly built man, twenty-something, eyes tightly shut, banging his head firmly into the wall. He wore a backpack that was very full, clutching a stack of paper coke cups, a water bottle, and a subway map.




One businessman cautioned with a wave of his hand, “Anio! Mit Cho So, (Don’t, he’s crazy!)” The young man rocked back and forth on his heels, his screams unabated in volume. “What is wrong with him? Maybe he is Autistic, or some other mental illness,” thought the KWB to himself. Removing his glasses and placing his own bag down, he carefully approached as he had experience with people suddenly lashing out violently. He silently prayed for help and guidance. Then, a memory from the past flashed in his mind, almost the same situation years ago…”

To be continued…
Be very careful when you see such public displays of violence. Persons under the influence of drugs, alcohol, psychosis, etc do not distinguish friend from foe. The KWB has much experience in such matters…on both sides of the fence.
Warning Signs of Violent Behavior
Autism
Agression Causes

October 18, 2009

Trend for Late Marriages on the Rise

The Chosun Ilbo (English Edition): Daily News from Korea - Trend for Late Marriages on the Rise
“Baby boomers in Korea who are now in their 50s have a lot on their minds. They are facing an average retirement age of 53, while they can no longer depend on their children to take care of them in their old age. Their most pressing concern is getting their children married, preferably while they are still earning money so they can afford a ceremony.”
“Last year, the average marrying age was 31.4 for men and 28.3 for women. More and more Koreans are choosing to marry later in life. In 1981, Korean men got married at an average age of 26.4 and women when they were 23.2. This means in 27 years, the average marrying age has been pushed back five years.”
“In the affluent Gangnam district of southern Seoul, 81.3 percent of women between 25 and 29 years of age are single, while 44.4 percent of women aged 30 to 34 are single.”
“With more and more women getting married later in life, couples with older wives are rising, while the numbers of couples with older husbands are declining. Among the couples that wed last year, 16 percent saw older women marry younger men. This is a large increase considering the fact that such couples only comprised 9.6 percent of all marriages 10 years ago. Among women aged 35 to 44, 3.5 out of 10 end up tying the knot with younger men. Such women fit the label of "Gold Miss," with good jobs and competitive incomes. They usually prefer younger, more docile companions.”
And you wonder why “Golden Misses” don’t want to have a baby? According to the Korean media it is these single women who are responsible for declining birthrate! So all you young docile dudes out there start learning how to do some housework! Practice taking care of children, shopping for groceries, etc. because you are gonna be “Mr. Mom”. So this is why “Meta-sexual guys” are looking good for the “Alpha Fema-Nazis” who want girly boy toys.
The Times they are a changing” Bob Dylan

American to Promote Franker Talk About Sex in Korea - The Chosun Ilbo (English Edition): Daily News from Korea

 image

American to Promote Franker Talk About Sex in Korea

American to Promote Franker Talk About Sex in Korea - The Chosun Ilbo (English Edition): Daily News from Korea
"When I had my first period, my mother took me to a gynecologist. It's common thing in the States because menstrual cramps or irregular menstruation might have serious repercussions for your health," says Bianca Mobley, one of the panelists on KBS' "Global Talk Show: Talk with Beauties."
"I realized the cultural difference when I saw how many unmarried Korean women try to avoid going to the gynecologist."

The 20-year old from New York, a popular figure on the panel with her Gyeongsang Province accent and frankness, has been named goodwill ambassador for the Korean Association of Obstetricians and Gynecologists to promote a campaign teaching young Korean women about sex and reduce abortions.”
The KWB thinks this is great…Hmmm, Oh, wait Bianca is one of us, mixed-race types, a daughter of a Kyopo and an American. Is she accepted as a “true Korean”? How will that go over with the local, REAL Korean women?
“Born to a Korean-American mother and an American father, Mobley went to high school in New York and entered Yonsei University's Underwood International College in 2007 to study comparative literature and culture. As a single woman in her 20s, did she feel reluctant to take up the position? "I wouldn't have felt a bit of reluctance in the U.S., but I did feel some pressure because it was in Korea. But after some thought, I realized it was nothing bad or embarrassing," she says.”
She actually could have some impact but somebody please tell her to be careful and no criticizing, or she will wind up like her German beauty friend doing damage control. The KWB will ask his Korean ahjumas at Shinsegae for their opinions.

October 14, 2009

Korean Single Women Key Factor for Low Birthrate!

Korean Times: Single women to Blame for Low Birthrate
By Yoon Ja-young
Staff Reporter
The surging numbers of single women are the key factor behind the country's low birthrate, research showed Sunday.
The Statistical Research Institute reported that one out of five females aged between 30 and 34 were single as of 2005, compared with one in 10 in 2000.

Korea suffers the lowest birthrate ― 1.19 children per woman ― among OECD member countries. It suggested that more families are settling for only one child, and preference for boys also seems to be decreasing.
Before, many families with three children had two daughters first and later a son in the wake of pressure for a male heir to continue the family name. Among mothers with more than two children and aged between 45 and 49, 48.9 percent had a son after having two daughters.
In the age bracket between 25 and 29, however, only 21.6 percent did so. The birthrate was especially low in mega cities and metropolitan areas. Gangnam in southern Seoul and a central district in Busan had the lowest in the country.
The ratio of females remaining single was high in these regions, and married women there had only a small number of children.

The Korean War Baby notes that Korean Single women are getting blamed for staying single too long, then not having enough children. Now they are blamed for the Low Birthrate. The Ministry of Health, Welfare, and Family Affairs has for several years reversed Slogans to push for 2 children rather than only 1 because of the fear that population is dropping and the ‘over 60’ age group is increasing. I guess the PPFK Planned Population Federation of Korea has done TOO WELL in controlling the Population!
Diverse Women for Diverse Society Looks at how women have seen changes. “It's interesting to see women taking more diverse roles in the largely uniform society that Korea is. The low birth rate may mean something. The National Statistical Office recently announced that the birthrate in Korea stood at 1.26 last year, a large decrease from the 1970s when the birthrate stood at 4.53. Perhaps this is in line with the increase in alpha girls or that we are seeing more ``worldy women,'' as Mark Penn identified in his book ``Micro Trends.''
Single Women Numbers Increase The population of unmarried women in their 20s and 30s has grown rapidly in Korea, a government report showed Sunday, underpinning concerns that delaying marriage is contributing to the country's declining birthrate.
The Korean War Baby comments:
Women are finally getting more freedom, well, surprise, shock and awe! They don’t want to get married too soon; they don’t want to ‘work on the farm’ so Korean farmers have to ‘import foreign wives’; they don’t want more than one child.
Don’t be surprised if the government comes up with ‘only two Abortions per single women’ law, or ‘forced marriages’. SAY! Here’s a good idea, make dead-beat “bio-Dads” take responsibility and Marry when they ‘knock up a young woman’.  They could also make revisions to loosen up the Adultery laws, just say yes to give birth.
Where is the Balance? What’s the answer? As you can see sometimes solutions produce new problems. The campaign to “Walk RIGHT” is now being launched in all schools, with the reasons given for the changes. The KWB sees very few actually following, or even aware of the CHANGE. In the mean time Korean Society is caught up in a dilemma, hopefully the Balance will be found…stay tuned.
Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

October 13, 2009

Women Become Victims of Expectation Game

 image
Women Become Victims of Expectation Game
Korea Times-hkang@koreatimes.co.kr

“With the term "alpha girls" becoming a media buzzword, working moms in most cultures are burned out. Harvard University psychologist Dan Kindlon coined the term of an alpha girl to refer to a woman who doesn't feel limited by her sex and is a person first and then a woman.
The primary role of women in the home virtually hasn't changed over the past decades, but they are asked to commit more at work, making them the victims of the expectation game.
For women at work, balancing work and household duties gets tougher as time goes by, and the hostile environment, gender experts say, is mainly responsible for falling birth rates in some advanced countries such as Korea, Germany, Japan and Italy.”

“German Ambassador to Korea Hans-Ulrich Seidt shared the view that contemporary women have become victims of the expectation game as the male-dominated society has changed in a way that has encouraged highly-educated women to play an active role in labor markets as well as the community.
"Korea and Germany share similar experiences in the patterns of economic growth and birth rates over the past decades," he said in an interview with The Korea Times last week.”


The Korean War Baby notes that the article goes on to show some countries have higher birth rates, due to less stress of taking care of children. France, Norway, and Sweden, all have an increasing higher  birthrate. This begs the question: Why and How?

“Empirical studies show that women in reproductive countries are less stressed than their counterparts in countries fighting falling fertility rates when reconciling their duties at home and work.
 

According to a National Assembly Budget Office (NABO) report released last week, the governments of countries with high TFR introduced supportive work and family policies a long time ago, shouldering part of working women's household duties.


Those governments set up many public daycare centers, sponsored preschool programs and encouraged spouses to have parental leave.”

READ the FRENCH MODEL:

France subsidized children and families from pregnancy to young adulthood with the supportive measures, which caused the nation to become the leader in terms of TFR.jeon-jae-hee-2009-8-28-0-40-55
Earlier, Minister of Health, Welfare and Family Affairs Jeon Jae-hee, said she has looked closely at the French style of work and family policies to tackle falling birth rates here.
 
Her remark drew skepticism from some economists because of the financial burden that the government should shoulder. Economists say approximately $12.5 billion will be needed to fulfill Minister Jeon's commitment, adding this is almost unfeasible.



Aha!! More support for women with children, daycare centers, sponsored preschool programs, etc. HEY! Here’s a great idea, UNWED MOTHERS could also have some help raising their children. By helping ALL women have less stress about working with young children, birthrate would go up. Yes, it will cost a bundle, but long range thinking must be considered for the benefit of the nation, and ALL its citizens. (Better than blaming women for remaining single…next post).
Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

October 12, 2009

Hohleiter Portrays Korea in Eyes of Foreigners

The Korean War Baby is NOT against Korea, Koreans, or Korean Culture. In pointing out the ‘changes going Right’ on the subways and the difficulties in actually doing IT, the KWB is comparing how major changes are not easily done. Cultural differences in HOW one country does anything in the East and in the West MUST be looked at from each perspective.
It is only when Westerners learn to see things from the perspective of the modern rapidly changing Korean culture, with it’s struggles to modernize society, that they can begin to understand how even generational differences in Korea are SO different in attitudes. Like all societies, the SPIN that is put on any given story can influence huge numbers of people. It is the first reports of an event that people remember, NOT the corrections.
The following story is typical of the way that Korean Cyberspace Netizens have in the past and present driven popular opinions against anyone seemingly critical of Korea. One cannot write anything critical of Korea without becoming a target. The German “Celebrity” Vera Hohleiter has published her book, “Sleepless Nights in Seoul” in the Korean Language- to try to “Clear up the misunderstanding” from portions translated from a Korean blogger living in Germany. The KWB doubts that she will survive, her days on KBS2 “Chitchat with Beauties” are numbered…
Hohleiter Portrays Korea in Eyes of Foreigners
image
By Chung Ah-young
Staff Reporter
”Vera Hohleiter, a German celebrity from the popular KBS2 TV show, ``Chitchat of Beautiful Ladies,'' came under fire for her book ``Sleepless Night in Seoul'' when it was published in Germany in July.
Many Koreans were enraged and felt betrayed as Hohleiter revealed some of the negative sides of Korean society in the book. She has repeatedly said she loves Korea as she shared her experiences with other foreign panel members on the show.
Three months later, she has published her book in Korean to ``clear up the misunderstanding'' for Korean readers. She says that misunderstanding and distortions were added when parts of her book were randomly translated from German to Korean by a Korean blogger who lives in Germany.
``I didn't have any bad intentions. It was my personal experience and very subjective. The book is about what happened to me and there is no made-up story at all. But I don't mean that my opinions about Korea are the absolute truth,'' Hohleiter said in a recent press conference.”

“The 30-year-old German appeared in public for the first time after the controversy and delivered her message clearly and firmly.
She said the book was originally intended to be published for Germans who wanted to learn about Korea because there were only a few books about the country there. After it was released in Germany, the book received positive reviews from readers and critics.
The controversial parts are actually humorous from the perspectives, of Europeans but cultural difference lead to different between the lines interpretations, she said.”

“She portrays Koreans as they appear in the eyes of foreigners. Her tone of the writing doesn't seem to be hostile and is just curious about Korean culture and the way of thinking in the process of adapting herself to the differences.
Of course, the book deals with sensitive subjects. For example, Hohleiter writes that  “Korean girls are obsessed with keeping up with the popular trends of the time and therefore they predominantly wear mini-skirts. But then, when they walk up the stairways in the subway station, they make every possible effort to hide their exposed bodies. I don't understand why they even wear mini-skirts.” She pens that in Europe, fashion is a means of expressing individuality but in Korea fashion focuses on following the trend and means uniformity among peers.”

The Korean War Baby concurs but again it must be understood that the clash of cultures is what makes Korean girls in ‘mini-skirts’ different from Westerners wearing mini-skirts. It is in the mind of the woman that is the difference. To a Westerner, a mini-skirted Korean girl trying to put a small bag or purse behind her to ‘cover up’ doesn’t make sense. But to Koreans it is her attempt to show that she is ‘still a nice girl’ and not a professional. Western minds interpret from our own mindset, the Western Male thinks, “Look at that! She must be…….” Koreans think instead, “Oh, she has the latest fashion”.
No, Ms. Hohleiter’s book may hurt her more than help her. TIK-This is Korea, Westerners may only praise, never criticize in any way. It was nice to chitchat with her, until she opened up just a bit too much.

October 9, 2009

기타리스트 드니 성호 얀센스 Guitarist DENIS SUNGHO JANSSENS

Guitarist DENIS SUNGHO JANSSENS

Denis has another album out! Check it out.

“Praised by the Les cahiers de la guitare as "inspired" and Koelner Stadt Anzeiger as "genius," Denis Sungho made his 2005 Carnegie Hall debut in New York as a "Rising Star" of the European Concert Hall Organization (ECHO).
Since winning first prize at the age of 14 in Belgium's national "Young Talent" competition, Denis Sung-ho has appeared on the main stages of the world, including Concertgebouw in Amsterdam, Musikverein in Vienna, Mozarteum in Salzburg, Symphony Hall in Birmingham, Konserthuset in Stockholm, Megaron in Athenes, Palais des Beaux Arts in Brussels, Cite de la Musique in Paris, and the Cologne Philharmonie. He has appeared in festivals such as the Musik Triennale in Koeln, and with ensembles such as Ensemble Intercontemporain and Oxalys. French and Belgian radio, as well as South Korean television and print media, have covered his international career.”

s_album04_Denis'REMEMBRANCE' *2009 New Release !!
F. TÁRREGA, H. VILLA-LOBOS, A. PIAZZOLLA, DENIS SUNGHO,
R. DYENS, S. ASSAD, E. GISMONTI, F. MOMPOU

 

 

The Korean War Baby likes his style, go to his site enjoy some of his video links, and check his performance schedule. The KWB is hoping for a Guest Post from Denis, or any Adoptee, from any country. Send him your story, pics, links, views, etc.

In South Korea, an Effort to Defend Unwed Mothers - NYTimes.com

 image Mok Kyong-wha, with her son, said that she broke up with her boyfriend while she was pregnant and refused when he asked her to have an abortion.

In South Korea, an Effort to Defend Unwed Mothers - NYTimes.com
“SEOUL, South Korea — Four years ago, when she found that she was pregnant by her former boyfriend, Choi Hyong-sook considered abortion. But after she saw the little blip of her baby’s heartbeat on ultrasound images, she could not go through with it.
As her pregnancy advanced, she confided in her elder brother. His reaction would sound familiar to unwed mothers in South Korea. She said he tried to drag her to an abortion clinic. Later, she said, he pressed her to give the child up for adoption.

“My brother said: ‘How can you be so selfish? You can’t do this to our parents,’ ” said Ms. Choi, 37, a hairdresser in Seoul. “But when the adoption agency took my baby away, I felt as if I had thrown him into the trash. It felt as if the earth had stopped turning. I persuaded them to let me reclaim my baby after five days.”

Presently, Korean Law allows Natural/Birth mothers up to give up their child before birth. Some want more time for thinking about it,  advocating up to 60 days to change their mind and keep the her child. For more on recent bill being drafted go adoption law revision (TRACK). The KWB supports helping to persuade the Korean people and government to support any woman who wants to raise her child.

This article shows the LACK of support by Family, Society, and Government that a woman faces, is she decides to NOT Abort, or NOT give up for Adoption.


“Now, Ms. Choi and other women in her situation are trying to set up the country’s first unwed mothers association to defend their right to raise their own children. It is a small but unusual first step in a society that ostracizes unmarried mothers to such an extent that Koreans often describe things as outrageous by comparing them to “an unmarried woman seeking an excuse to give birth.”
Slideshow of Single Parenting in Koreaimage






The KWB had heard a rumor of this outrageous saying but even his students were too embarrassed to explain or talk about this. His Korean ‘public servant wife (who carries a pistol)’, explained it a year ago. This was after it was learned that none of the KWB In-laws knew that he was HALF-KOREAN and (Horrors) ADOPTED!!!

After 3 years of marriage one of the wife’s cousins saw a picture on the computer screen of the KWB, and asked, “Who is THAT? Your student?” The KWB was very surprised, no shocked to learn further that the cousin did not know about the KWB being being given up by his Korean mother. Furthermore, it was discovered that the cousin’s wife WAS ADOPTED after her parents were killed, by a domestic adoption!! You see Adoption and being a Bastard are not Topics of discussion in Korean Society.

“Yet each year, social pressure drives thousands of unmarried women to choose between abortion, which is illegal but rampant, and adoption, which is considered socially shameful but is encouraged by the government. The few women who decide to raise a child alone risk a life of poverty and disgrace.”

In their campaign, Ms. Choi and the other women have attracted unusual allies. Korean-born adoptees and their foreign families have been returning here in recent years to speak out for the women…One such supporter, Richard Boas, an ophthalmologist from Connecticut who adopted a Korean girl in 1988, said he was helping other Americans adopt foreign children when he visited a social service agency in South Korea in 2006 and began rethinking his “rescue and savior mentality.”

“I looked around and asked myself why these mothers were all giving up their kids,” Dr. Boas said.
He started the Korean Unwed Mothers Support Network, which advocates for better welfare services from the state.

“What we see in South Korea today is discrimination against natural mothers and favoring of adoption at the government level,” said Jane Jeong Trenka, 37, a Korean-born adoptee who grew up in Minnesota and now leads Truth and Reconciliation for the Adoption Community of Korea, one of two groups organized by Korean adoptees who have returned to their homeland to advocate for the rights of adoptees and unwed mothers.

The Korean War Baby finds himself in a dilemma, No not a dilemma but rather a Balanced Roadmap. The KWB  believes in seeking, imploring, begging, demanding, urging, embarrassing, preaching, etc. There can be a Middle Road way to advocate perhaps this:
  • for more help from the Korean Government and Media  for unwed mothers;
  • Domestic adoptions by Koreans;
  • Korean Government’s steps to ratify the Hague Convention on Adoption
  • Adoptions by Ethnic Koreans living in other countries; Special Needs adoptions to all Koreans (If they want them) Then to OTHERS.
  • Finally, for those who are NOT kept by their mothers; not adopted by “Their People”; THEN to Other Prospective Adoptive Parents of nationalities that are signatories of the Hague Convention.
The Reality is that Korean women are under incredible pressure to do the easy thing, Abort or give up for adoption. Korean society is slowly changing, but it will take time to bring more openness, keeping open many different options, while pushing for viable change. Care must be taken to persuade rather than ‘brow beat’, support instead of trying to stop. Being FOR some things not only AGAINST all- in “This Thing of Ours-Adoption”.

Balanced approach, is it possible? What are your thoughts?
Coming: Does the KWB hate women who have an abortion?


Enhanced by Zemanta

Skype